From bash.org A stats professor plans to travel to a conference by plane. When he passes the security check, they discover a bomb in his carry-on-baggage. Of course, he is hauled off immediately for interrogation. "I don't understand it!" the interrogating officer exclaims. "You're an accomplished professional, a caring family man, a pillar of your parish - and now you want to destroy that all by blowing up an airplane!" "Sorry", the professor interrupts him. "I had never intended to...

This morning I got a call from dispatch asking where I was. I told him that I was rolling up I-55 between Memphis and St Louis. He got all excited and said that he was expecting me to be unloaded in WI today. Really? Why is that? It seems he had told the customer at my final stop that I would be there today, which was a very poor choice on his part and I said as much. After all of the delays getting loaded and being as that final stop quits receiving at 2PM there was simply no way that I c...

I'm spending the night in Little Rock, AR. Not exactly one of my favorite cities, but it'll do for the night. I'm in no big hurry to get up to WI as my first stop says that I can deliver pretty much any time this weekend and my second stop I can't deliver until Monday. I'm going to try and make the first stop around noon or so on Saturday and then go to the yard and relax until Monday morning. It'll give me a chance to do my paperwork and have it in the box before the office opens on Mond...

This morning I got a call from dispatch informing me that the 8-9PM pick up appointment in Houston was a typo and it was supposed to be AM. Well, a little late as at that point there was no way I could be there in time, but I pushed on anyway and hoped for the best. When I got there I showed them the paper with the appointment time on it, she checked her sheet which was also screwed up, so we called it a draw and decided to load me up. The pieces of steel I was supposed to be picking up...

I've been here at the truckstop in San Antonio all day waiting to get a load. Dispatch finally called me around 4:30 this afternoon. This load sounds like it's going to be a royal pain in the ass. At first the plan was to go over by Houston in the morning to pick up a couple of pieces, and then to Livingston to pick up an excavator. The weight is going to be tricky at best. I also have to stop some place and pick up some 4x4 lumber to load it on. The Houston pick up is at the port. They'r...

I made the Houston delivery this morning. I was nearly an hour early as I managed to beat the bulk of the morning traffic. The guys at the shop where I delivered the three large generators were quite nice. I was offered a hot cup of coffee before we set to work with unloading the beasts. After we had their three unloaded one of the guys noticed that one of the end panels on the lone remaining generator, which is going to San Antonio, had come loose. I inspected it and three of the bolts ha...

Today was a hard travel day. I had to make it down here near Houston so I can deliver tomorrow morning. I made one stop on the way from MO, just long enough to take a leak and fill my thermos. I know these little truckstops along US 59 in TX and if you don't get into a parking spot early, you don't get into one at all. I wheeled in here about 30 minutes ago. There were 4 empty parking spots and I took 1. In the time it took me to walk inside, do what I had to do to download all the coffee,...

I'm on my way to Houston. I stopped at a small fuel stop at the WI/IL line. It just accidently happens to have a pub across the street so I just accidently wandered in there. It's a pretty typical small local pub with pretty typical local patrons. I was having a reasonably decent time in there minding my own business and drinking a few beers. There were a few local women in there and at one point they started making chattering noises while looking at me. I asked the bartender what was up a...

I forget what's second. This morning I grabbed my shave kit, swapped the Limes for Sandalwood, and walked inside the truckstop for a nice shave. Inside I set up all of my stuff on the sink counter, started doing my prep, reached in the kit to remove my brush so it could soak and realized that I had left it hanging in the truck. Ack! I always hang it up with a churchwarden pipe cleaner so that it can dry properly. This is the first time I have actually forgotten to take it down before go...

This morning I carried my kit into the truckstop and had a nice relaxing shave before heading out on the road. As I was lathering up with the T&H Limes the driver standing at the sink next to me sniffed a couple of times and then looked over at me and said "You know, I could swear I keep smelling Key Lime pie". I couldn't help but laugh and then held the bowl of cream under his nose so he could get a good whiff. Naturally a bunch of questions ensued regarding where to buy it, how hard is i...

Today's driving was...interesting. Frustrating, but interesting. You see, it was raining today in Georgia. Rain in Georgia really seems to bring out the stupid in people. Driving on a sunny day seems to make them dumb, but let it rain and they become complete imbiciles. I spent almost as much time sitting in accident related backups today than actually moving. It was crazy. Wreck after wreck all along I-75 and I-285. I passed one especially nasty looking one South of Atlanta. A red Firebir...

I arrived at the place in lakeland this morning to load the two trucks. As soon as I saw them I knew there was going to be a problem. The measurements the guy had given dispatch were way off. After talking with him I found that he had measured from the rear frame to the front wheel. There was still 5 more feet of truck after that! We tried every possible trick to make them fit on my trailer but it just wasn't going to work. They were simply too long. I called the guy buying them and told h...

I'm making preparations to head back out on the road tomorrow. I've had my shower and shave, cleaned up the kitchen, and started packing up the things that I need to take with me. I have a rather large shave bag and until now could never have imagined that it would be too small but as I was packing up all of my shave gear, including the new creams, brush, aftershave, and razors it was getting quite full. I got it all in there, but just barely. I was a bit concerned that the small ceramic b...

A 6.6 earthquake rocked Hawaii today. All of the damage and injury reports aren't in yet but it is known that power is out on Oahu. Luckily the quake didn't reult in a tsunami. I wonder how many tourists had a rude awakening about 7:07 am local time this morning? Link

Some more IRC quotes from bash.org Remember some real people actually typed these Guys, I found the greatest glitch! It's one of those ads where you have to hit the target. You can click anywhere on it and you STILL get the prize! 53 free laptops for me! JA: would you date a christian? JK: Sure JK: I'd screw the Jesus right out of her JA: OMG i can't BELIEVE you just said that JK: Because once you've been in bed with me, you know the truth JK: there is no God D...