I'm on my way to Houston. I stopped at a small fuel stop at the WI/IL line. It just accidently happens to have a pub across the street so I just accidently wandered in there.
It's a pretty typical small local pub with pretty typical local patrons. I was having a reasonably decent time in there minding my own business and drinking a few beers. There were a few local women in there and at one point they started making chattering noises while looking at me. I asked the bartender what was up and she told me that they were discussing the old myth about how hand size related to, well, other physical attributes. OK, I have rather large hands.
At one point one of the women happened my way and commented on my aftershave and asked what it was. I told her it was Bay Rum, which she had never heard of, and the next thing I knew I had six women sniffing my neck and commenting on my aftershave. I won't pretend it wasn't fun.
Later in the evening a couple of hispanic guys came in with a hispanic girl who was to say the least quite hot looking. I certainly was checking her out. Her boyfriend took offense and came over to me and asked if I was looking at his girlfriend. I replied that I was indeed as she was quite nice to look at and he was a lucky man. As I was talking to him I was slipping my spring assisted lockblade out of my pocket (it's sharp enough to shave with). He got pretty nasty so I released the blade and stuck it in his crotch and asked him if he really wanted to continue the conversation. He suddenly decided that we should be the best of friends.
I walked out the door backwards after that and decided it was time to return to my truck.