I delivered my two stops in CA yesterday, finishing up after our office was closed last night. I made my way to the truckstops an hour away and parked for the night. I'm still sitting here, not making a dime. They are doing their best to find me a load out of here but freight is slow. I am starting to wonder if I shouldn't be considering another line of work, at least until the economy improves. But of course there's the rub; the economy. People are losing jobs all over the country so going i...

I am a few miles from my first delivery destination in CA. I got here pretty early tiday and decided that I wanted to go have a cold beer. Not a single bar in sight so I did a little searching and between the internet and my GPS I chose a place just a couple of miles from the truck stop. Finding a cab proved to be a problem as both of the ones listed on the net for this town turned out to be out of business but a call to the bar I wanted to visit provided a phone numder for a cab service that...

On the surface the electronic cigarette, or e-cigarette, seems like a pretty strange idea, but in many ways it's actually a pretty good idea. The devices come in several different brands and models but they are all basically a rechargable battery tube, a vaporizor, and a catridge that contains tobacco flavoring, liquid nicotine in assorted strengths, and propylene glycol. They work by vaporizing the contents of the catridge as you draw on them just as you would a regular cigarette only in...

A Winter storm hit the Kingman, AZ area last night. It started with some sleet  and progressed to a small amount of snow and then ice. The wind was incredible as it rocked my truck violently most of the night. As I sat in my truck and watched this weather the power failed at the truckstop and everything went black. It came back on for a short time and then went out again. It was still out when I decided to go to bed. This morning the power was back on and everything was covered with ice....

I am on a trip to CA to deliver to two military bases. I had planned on making the deliveries on Tuesday (yesterday) but the trip has been a total disaster. I ran into an ice storm in IL that delayed me. I blew a tire in OK that cost me time. Then the serpentine belt that drives pretty much everything under the hood broke in NM and I had to get that repaired. I also ran into quite a snow storm in NM too which pretty well clinched it as far as not making delivery before the bases shut down for th...

We buried Mom yesterday. Today was time for visiting amongst ourselves and to rest a bit. Tomorrow morning I'll be leaving back out on the road once again. Despite everything that's happened it's time for me to get back to work and trying to earn a living. Being flat broke and unable to pay my bills or house payment is not fun and I have no choice but to get back to the business of working. My youngest brother and his wife left for their home in GA around noon today, and my next younger broth...

Today was  very long. My youngest brother, his wife, and her brother showed up here late yesterday. I had planned for them to stay at Mom's friend's  home as she has several spare bedrooms and had offered, but as they arrived late I decided to just let them stay here for the night. Besides, I hadn't seen my brother in a good while and wanted to spend some time with him. As mine is only a one bedroom place it was a bit cramped. I let my brother and his wife take the bedroom, her b...

Today was tough. Mom's friend came over and drove Frank and I over to the funeral home in her Rolls. She wanted to be there with us for moral support. I appreciated it. She's been a big help. I was more or less ok through most of it, working out all of the details, the obituary, etc. But when it came time to select the casket it was very, very hard. As soon as we chose the one we wanted I just had to get the hell out of there for a couple of minutes. I stepped outside and smoked a couple of c...

I've had a few requests for an address to send flowers for my mother's funeral. She insisted that she didn't want any flowers for her funeral as she wanted to enjoy flowers while she was still living. She asked that instead of flowers people make a donation to the American Cancer Society in her memory. If any wish to do this donations may be made in memory of Florence Jean Mullins. Thanks to all.

I pulled my favorite sport coat out of the closet as I planned to wear it to the funeral home tomorrow. It's a grey silk coat that I've had for a few years. I guess it had got scrunched in the closet and was wrinkled; creased would be a better word. I got so seriously pissed that this jacket had the nerve to come out of the closet wrinkled. Realistically I know that silk wrinkles easily, but somehow I just went off on this thing. It's lucky to still be in one piece. I think I'm losing my m...

Despite drinking more beer than is healthy, I just can't sleep. I didn't sleep very much at all last night, and during the 30 minutes or so that I did sleep I dreamed that I rushed home to find my mother was actually ok and hadn't died. I am exhausted but somehow sleep refuses me. Damn, how selfish is this? My mother just died and I am bitching about the fact that I can't sleep. Good G-d I'm a selfish piece of shit! I keep thinking about my mother, the funeral home I have to visit in the m...

My mother passed away at midnight last night. I knew it was coming but didn't expect it to be so soon. I thought she would at least make it through Christmas and her birthday two days after. I had prepared myself for this news, but it is still hard to take and I suppose I am still in something of a state of shock. I had prayed just a couple of days ago that if she had to go that G-d be merciful and make it quick so she wouldn't have to suffer. I am at least thankful for that, she simply slipp...

I have always had certain issues with Christian dogma and in recent years it has become more bothersome to me. Of late I have been studying Judaism, Jewish traditions, and Jewish culture. During my studies the reasons for my issues starting becoming more and more clear to me. My heart has always been Jewish, it's just taken a while for my head to catch up. I directed my studies toward eventual conversion. This is a deeply personal thing to me and is between G-d and myself, and I state in no unce...

I feeling pretty depressed now. It seems that everything is going wrong. I learned that my mother is dieing from lung cancer and is refusing any more treatment. She's at home with a hospice worker now. It truly breaks my heart that she won't have the chemo, but I do understand and respect her wishes. From what the doctor said it doesn't sound like it would really do much good anyway. Thanks to the slow economy and trucking business I have a bunch of past due bills and bills coming due and won...

I just got a call from my mother's husband. She's back in the hospital. They have diagnosed her with stage 4 lung cancer. They said without chemo she has about 6 months, with chemo maybe a year or so. After all she's been through with this cancer stuff, now this. It seems she just can't get a break. I'm over 1,000 miles away and feel powerless to help her. Of course realistically there's actually nothing I could do if I were there. He's supposed to call me back on Monday after speaking wit...