I believe that the Wellbutrin is starting to work a bit. I've had two decent nights sleep in a row now. The stuff does seem to spawn some odd dreams but I am otherwise finally getting some real sleep. Just getting some proper rest makes a world of difference with depression. It becomes a vicious cycle. The depression saps you of energy and makes you feel very tired but it also interferes with your ability to get restful sleep. All you feel like doing is sleeping but you're unable to do so...

I haven't done any knitting since this depression stuff started but today I bought a skein of yarn in a color to match Mom's new sofa. I had seen a pretty cool looking knitted clock and am making one for her. I still have to pick up some cork board for the backing and the actual clock mechanism itself, but for now I can work on knitting the clock face. Hopefully I'll get to feeling like finishing those socks I started, but for now the clock is something pretty simple as well as something d...

When I rode down to the C-store earlier today to pick up some brews there was a kid of about 8 or 9 standing in front of the store when I rode up on my bent. The look on his face told me that he had never seen a bent before. He walked toward me and said "Hey mister, that's a nice bike!" I got off and set it on it's kickstand and said "Thanks", The kid asked me all kinds of questions about the bike. It was obvious he was just itching to get on it. I finally asked him if he would like to sit...

Get your act together. This was the advice from someone on a "support" forum after reading that I was dealing with depression. WTF? Is this good advice for someone with heart disease? How about kidney failure? Diabetes? Ok, this wasn't a depression support forum, it was actually a stop smoking forum where I just happened to mention the depression thing in the context of quitting smoking, but still... is this the kind of advice people think is actually helpful? Kinda makes me want to...

I'm pretty much a live and let live kind of person but I can't abide trespassers. When I got home today I discovered that a group of gnats had moved into my home. I assume they're in here getting out of the heat as there's nothing left out to attract them. Like I said, I can't abide trespassers. I gave them a warning, which they chose to ignore, and then cut lose with my weapon (rolled up magazine). It was a long, drawn out affair but I think I have managed to kill all but a few straggle...

When I got home I did the usual. I turned on the water and power, aired up the tires on my bent, and rode down to the store to get some brewskies while the ac was cooling the place down. I've been drinking beer most of my life and it takes a few for me to get a buzz. Well, at least until I started on Wellbutrin. After polishing off two brews I had a pretty good buzz going. I have never, ever had a buzz off of two beers. It seems the Wellbutrin makes one a lightweight. Naturally having an e...

I got an early start this morning and delivered the military truck to the Marine base at Blount Island, FL. I then started out for home. Amazingly enough I ran into no traffic or weigh station problems coming home. I cruised right through Orlando without having to stop or even slow down (that NEVER happens) and made it home without incident. That kinda makes me nervous. It went too smoothly. I told dispatch that I'd be home until Monday. That will give me a few days of rest before headi...

I had what I thought was a good idea for an article. Now I wish I could remember what it was. Damn. Has anyone seen my idea?

I was listening to Sherlock Holmes on the XM radio today and have a bloody British accent stuck in my head now so if you don't mind, read the following with an imagined British accent ala Holmes or Watson. Sorry for the bother, that's just the way it came out you know. When you're in the midst of a depression episode you pretty much don't care about anything and pretty much everything is just too much of a bother to deal with. Depression episode; that's what my shrink always called it back...

I'm parked at a small fuel stop. I walked inside a short while ago to get a bite to eat. I wish I had noticed the bus parked there before I had gone it. If I had, I wouldn't have bothered at all. The place was crowded with noisy people wandering and milling around, none of whom paid the slightest bit of attention to where they were going or what they were doing. How does one survive to adulthood without learning the simple lesson of looking where the hell you're going? I swear I came very,...

They had the ac in my truck fixed by the time I got to the yard. I checked in at the office and he said he was putting together a load to Florida for me. That will work out just fine. The annual 72 hour Federal DOT concentrated inspection will be taking place of the 6th, 7th, and 8th of this month. It's when they bring in extra manpower at all of the scales as well as put extra vehicles on the road to pull over trucks for inspections. It's a real pain in the ass and doesn't actually accomplis...

My father died from depression when I was 10 years old. Shotgun. In his day and age men simply didn't go to the doctor for something like that. It was a weakness. Something to be ashamed of. The chemical imbalances that cause depression are quite often genetic. One can inherit it from one or both parents. I inherited it from my father. Yep, I suffer from clinical depression. But I won't let it kill me like it did my father. I have "those" thoughts from time to time. I remember a time s...

I went over to Appleby's for dinner. There were two bartenders working, one I know and a new one. I spent some time chatting with the new one and found her rather cute and interesting. At some point in our conversation she mentioned her father's age. He's the same age I am. Shit. I am definitely old now.

I hauled a fire truck down to Milwaukee this morning and delivered it to the Sheriton hotel across from the airport. Some kind of big trade show. I then went to the Army Reserve base and picked up a tanker trailer and brought it back to the yard. I checked in with the shop, yelled at the guy who runs the shop about my ac not being fixed right, and then laid down in my bunk for a nap. I was exhausted. They woke me a couple of hours later and had me pull the truck into the shop. They disc...

I had what I would normally consider a very easy day today. I went down to Waukesha and picked up this huge steel...thing, it was oversized, and hauled it down to Rockford, IL. That was only a couple of hours. I delivered it and then deadheaded up to Oshkosh where I have been parked since. Tomorrow morning I have to pick up a fire truck and haul it down to Milwaukee for a trade show of some sort, another short trip. No idea what I'll do after that. The problem is, I have absolutely no ene...