I am here, brothers and sisters, to tell you about a great evil which has spread across our great land. Most of us have come into contact with this evil force at some point in our lives, and it never fails to bring misery and heartbreak whenever it is encountered. Imagine that you are out for the day, shopping for example. There you are, strolling along the sidewalk peering into the windows of interesting-looking shops when it hits you. That sudden, unmistakeable urge that tells you that you sh...

As an over the road truck driver, I travel the highways and byways of the United States and Canada. During my travels, I often see some pretty amazing (and amusing) things out there. Sometimes some sad things as well. Drivers and their pets are sometimes pretty interesting and amusing. I have seen one driver several times in truckstops around the country who has a pygmy goat that rides in the truck with him. Yep, you read correctly; a pygmy goat. I guess a sheep would be too obvious. (So...

You ever doing anything just really dumb? I was sitting in a truckstop the other day and ordered some breakfast. The waitress, oops that's not PC these days, the SERVER brought me my food and asked if there was anything else I would like. I said "Yes, some silverware would be nice". As soon as I said it I saw the silverware laying right there. Her response was "You need more silverware?" with a pretty "This guy is really stupid" look on her face. I made the excuse that "sorry, I'm not r...

I first became really interested in eating with chopsticks a few years ago. I was making a pick up at a warehouse in New Jersey and most of the people working there were from Vietnam. I happened to be there when their lunch break came around. As I sat in the break room watching these guys eating their lunch, one older fellow piqued my curiosity. He was eating a fish/rice dish out of a cup with chopsticks. It was very interesting to watch his expert use of these ancient eating tools. I wait...

How do you do the quotes in the yellow boxes?????? I tried putting "quote" and "/quote" in brackets with the text in between but didn't work. I'm sure it's been asked before but I couldn't find the aswer so don't beat me up about it, I did look for it.

I really do enjoy a good cigar. I know this is an unpopular subject in today's sickeningly PC culture, but I have never been accused of being very PC in the first place. While yes, I am working on losing weight, working out, and generally getting healthier and more fit, I do still enjoy my cigars. I doubt that I will ever give them up. I imagine at this point some readers are envisioning those horrible stinking cheapo stogies. No, dear reader, I do not smoke those wretched things. I pre...

From: Blkrsvtr, Captain, Survey Ship HDFSTV To: SNDTEJC, Commander, JWWSXOPSBCFG Homeworld Fleet Re: Survey of third planet, star 749375ab Commander; Our survey of the third planet in the 749375ab system has proved to be only partially successful. The dominant species on the planet, who refer to themselves generally as "humans", are a bipedal species which at first appear to be at least nominally intelligent. They are possessed of the ability to communicate with each other, but ob...

Has anyone else seen these anti-racism ads on television? They are set in normal every day settings, a restaurant, an elevator, etc. and normally have one caucasion person exhibiting racist behavior and someone else speaking up about it. OK, the first time I saw one of these ads I thought "well that's a good thing". But after seeing several of them I noticed a pattern. It seems that racists only come in one color: white. Not a single one of these seemingly well intentioned ads ever depicts...

If you could be granted three conditional wishes what would they be? The conditions of the three wishes are as follows: 1. One wish must completely selfless, benefitting you in no way. 2. One wish must be totally selfish, benefitting only yourself and no-one else in any way. 3. One wish may benefit anyone of your choosing and is not limited to a single person. If all conditions are not met , all wishes are void. So, how would you wish?

These days it seems people just can't live without technology and machines in their lives. People have home computers, portable computers, PDAs, office computeres, and it seems nobody can be more than a few inches from a telephone these days. It seems everyone from the high-level corporate executives to high school students must have a cell phone on them at all times. And everyone is in a hurry today. There was a time when our ancestors traveled by foot, horse or animal drawn wagon, a...

A Virginia State Trooper was injured in a crash yesterday afternoon while responding to a call. According to State Police investigators, Trooper Hairston was westbound on US 57 in Henry County , VA when a car pulled out in front of him and they collided nearly head-on. Trooper Hairston had his lights and siren activated at the time of the crash. The Trooper was airlifted to the hospital in Roanoke, VA, and is in good condition, while the woman driving the other vehicle was transported to t...

It has been my personal crusade the past few years to expose THEM for who THEY really are; subversives controlling the masses. Everyone is familar with THEM on a subconscious level. Every day you here someone make a reference to THEM. You've probably done it yourself without even realizing it. "THEY say ________." "You know what THEY say, __________." THEY are everywhere, affecting every level of life in America today. THEY do it through the media, broadcasting subversive signals throug...

Today I had the odious chore of going to that great bastion of commercialism we (not-so) lovingly refer to as Wally World. Let me say right up front that I would much rather have my teeth pulled by a vet who just finished giving a bear an enima than to go into this mecca of the imported goods. But, I needed road groceries and am as broke as everyone else, so off I go. (I did drink a beer first, just to help numb the pain. medicinal purposes you know) Well, I had a pretty good idea of what ...

George Carlin once said something to the effect that "Theprinciple of driving is to go down the road in a big iron thing,without changing the shape of it or any other big iron things onthe road". This sums up the basic idea of driving prettywell. But now, with added stress of more and more vehicles on theroads and highways today, I would have to add "... andwithout getting shot ". According to national traffic statistics, in 2001 there were6.3 million vehicles crashes in the U.S. resulting in...

The main ingredient in soap is tallow products. For those who don't know what tallow is, here's the definition: Hard fat obtained from parts of the bodies of cattle, sheep, or horses, and used in foodstuffs or to make candles, leather dressing, soap, and lubricants. Hmmm, sounds kind of disgusting. So basically we wash ourselves in animal fat. Yuk. Who thought of this? Ok, I use soap too, but this does sound pretty nasty.