This is one of the things that has me fundamentally pissed off at many strains of Christianity. The last serious bout of depression I went through, I ACTIVELY sought support from the Christian community. I TOLD them about my depression; I ASKED for help. None was given, and as the funk escalated, I was continually told that it was my spiritual condition; if I'd just pray a little more or give a little more to the offering plate or something like that, God would deliver me. And if He didn't, it was a sign of lack of faith on my part. Sadly, this belief is all too common in churches, and I have to wonder how many parishioners have died because of it. And how those pastors will wash the blood off their hands.

Yeah I know what you mean Gid. It's sheer stupidity and intellectual dishonesty at it's finest.

I'm on antidepressants and I'm still tired all the time. I don't know if I need a higher dosage as I'm on a fairly even emotional keel most of the time (as my writing reflects, hopefully!), if it's obesity-related, or something else. My bloodwork all comes back okay every time I have it done...

I've cone to the conclusion that my body is retarded and I need a new one. Maybe in a few years medical technology will allow me to do that. That would probably make my husband a whole lot happier, too. lol

Could be you're just not on the right AD for you.

Hi Mason,
Thank you for sharing this very personal account. My nephew suffers from depression and he has said that crying, that his own tears are a natural relief. I will pray for you.

Do you know that Hope is a passion just as love is. Hold tight, cling to hope Mason...you never know what kind of pleasure and joy that you can receive or give to someone else in the the next moment, the next hour, the next day. When a man can take pleasure in something, even if it's a little thing like smiling at a stranger, then he is at least beginning to rouse himself from the depression. Hope is a help to action because it arouses effort and leads to success of a future good.

Do good and be good, my JU friend,

Mason, have you considered you might need company on your travels again? I know how much Socrates meant to you through your blogs and we all felt we knew him through you. I am loathe to open old wounds at this time, but do so with the very best of intentions

I know you said you would never have a pet again after you lost your beloved Socrates, but pets are wonderful company and are also therapeutic for depression sufferers. Dogs make wonderful companions, they hang on your every word and every breath you take, all they ask in return is your love.

I am posting a picture of a chihuahua for you. They are small and require little amounts of exercise. The dog is small enough to have in the cab with you and small enough for a carrier box too. He would also be happy to be on a leash when at the truck stops.

Please Mason think about it. Just don't put him in pink like the poor bugger below!

Very nice piece MasonM. It's good to see something about depression.

I too have fought it. I've always felt that the hardest part isn't really fighting to beat it after the first time, because you know what needs to be done. I feel that it's trying to keep yourself distanced from things that can send you hurtling back into the direction of the pit, ya know?

A good example is my current state of affairs, a job i hate, a relationship that's always dancing to the brink, and sometimes falling in (to chaos), and being in debt. (Gotta love life, eh?) It's a circumstance that's more than once forced me into depression.

Good luck, and godspeed with it, and, yes, even though we don't know each other very well, you're more than welcome to drop me an email. I'd be glad to help you in whateve way i can.

Peace, ~Lucas

Thanks

Thanks, but I have enough to do just looking after myself.

I am glad you are not ready. Hope that you start feeling better. I am prone to depression, and although I won a major battle against it many years ago, it still comes back to pick on me. I just try not to let it get to me too much.

Love the blue hat in your pic, btw.

Thanks

Thanks

Very good response LW, thanks. I just didn't have the energy to address those points as of yet.

I can't speak for Mason, but I thought you did pretty well. It's not something you pull yourself out of, or "get over", it's something that consumes you. That doesn't mean these comments weren't well intentioned, and I wouldn't hold a one against these individuals, but they show the misunderstandings towards people with depression.

Lucas,

What you are describing would better be described as DESPAIR rather than depression. Despair is when outside events press in on you and overwhelm you, and yes it sucks, but the situation can usually be controlled. To be fair, sometimes despair is brought about BECAUSE of how depression was dealt with (eg, you stopped going to work and lost your job and didn't have enough initiative to get off the couch to make money and now the electric's being cutoff tomorrow unless someone comes up with $200 right away), but those things aren't depression. I've experienced both, and fortunately, through twelve years of marriage, have learned to communicate enough with my wife to have her help make sure some of the things are done to prevent things from piling up when depression DOES hit.

Fortunately, I've had only mild bouts over the past three years (depression and despair can have a cumulative effect, BTW), but I spent about a seven year stretch where there was more darkness than light. It's good to be back.