I understand what you mean M. There are some people who are just like magnets, they will attract people to them no matter what. My hubby is like that. He's pretty talkative, perhaps that's why. I'm more reserved, and I look a person over more carefully than go full out to being their friend. I am an outgoing person yes, to a point. When you get to know me better, you wouldn't believe this is the same person whom you met who seemed so reserved, is so outgoing. Some of my friends have told me that.

Something I've learned is sometimes you only tell people just a bit of info, not too much details, just to let them see a little of you, they feel more comfortable. People tend to be like that I find. I also find that people in the South tend to be more reserved than those up North. They really don't have anything to do with you unless they know you.

Anyway, hey, we might be cyber buddies, but you've got a friend in me.

I relate to your writing so much. I am that way. I am liked, but I don't form close bonds with many people (even online). I don't know your situation exactly, but I know for me, it has to do with just sending out a vibe of being on guard...not totally comfortable with letting it down. This goes back to lots of past issues...and although I've improved, I still hold back.

I wish there was an easy to follow plan to break through social awkwardness, but I never quite learned to deal with the same issues myself.

Eventually I think I sort of forced myself to be more socialable, but I was definitely a fairly quiet and relatively "shy" type during my youth. Not necessarily by choice, more from being a social outcast. My fathers occupation (law enforcement) wasn't one that would let others my own age trust me. Most were certain that I was a goody two shoes or perhaps a NARC.

Until I moved out of the area and was going to school in areas where my reputation didn't preceed me, and where my family name wasn't necessarily bringing me down in the eyes of potential friends.

I did make a definite effort to be more friendly and less reserved once I was going to college. I was tired of not having a girlfriend, and being left behind for social events that co-workers, classmates and others were involved in. I didn't force myself into the mix, but I did express interest in being involved.

Over time I've shifted back the other direction and become more private and less likely to be out with the co-workers at happy hour. I have a family, I do have friends, co-workers and friends I've made over the net, but generally I go slow and cautiously.

I do try to avoid giving poor treatment to others though and try to make sure that everyone feels welcome at events. I don't like seeing people left out, and feeling like no one wants to talk with them, etc. I remember the general pain and loneliness and don't wish it upon others at all.

It's funny because you can meet strangers when you are on the road and be friendly with them, no problem. I do get what you mean. I have one very best friend that I can count on and talk to about anything. With everyone else, I am friendly but not friends if that makes any sense. I can chat with them but it's not a close relationship. This is true even of my family, sisters etc. I think with my best friend though we just clicked right away which is funny because our personalities are nothing alike but we just get each other.

I guess if you want to hang out with someone from work invite them over to BBQ or watch a game or go to a movie or something. You might click, you might not but I think you probably need to get to know someone better outside of the work or where everyone hangs out after work setting.

You are the old man of the yard.  I suspect you can become quite close when you want to.  But like ships in the night, you will see these guys so infrequently, that sub consciously, you dont want to get close.  That is not a bad thing.  Not everyone wants best friends they see once or twice a year.  I think the fact that you have friends in many of your regular spots attests to your ability to make friends.  But being a long distance trucker, you dont want them too close as you may not see them for months or years at a time.

Something I've learned is sometimes you only tell people just a bit of info, not too much details, just to let them see a little of you, they feel more comfortable. People tend to be like that I find. I also find that people in the South tend to be more reserved than those up North. They really don't have anything to do with you unless they know you.

This is true and while I'm a petty extroverted person in social situations, it's never personal stuff.

I think part of it is that I seem to intimidate people even when I don't mean to do so. I've had many people remark about my eyes being very intimidating. No idea why, they're just eyes.

I relate to your writing so much. I am that way. I am liked, but I don't form close bonds with many people (even online).

Yep, exactly. I've had a few close friends over the years, but don't make them quickly or easily.

Eventually I think I sort of forced myself to be more socialable, but I was definitely a fairly quiet and relatively "shy" type during my youth.

I've never been accused of being shy.

With everyone else, I am friendly but not friends if that makes any sense. I can chat with them but it's not a close relationship.

Makes perfect sense to me.

You are the old man of the yard. I suspect you can become quite close when you want to. But like ships in the night, you will see these guys so infrequently, that sub consciously, you dont want to get close. That is not a bad thing. Not everyone wants best friends they see once or twice a year. I think the fact that you have friends in many of your regular spots attests to your ability to make friends. But being a long distance trucker, you dont want them too close as you may not see them for months or years at a time.

That's what's funny. I'm not the old man on the yard. There are a number of drivers who have been there far longer than I.

True enough about the trucking thing though. I'm a professional acquaintance.

Don't read too much into this article. It's just a bit of late evening introspection. While I don't think it's good to dwell on the negative aspects of one's life I do feel that it's good to take a look at them once in a while and reflect upon what they really mean and how they affect things.

I have the freedom to live the life I choose and enjoy it.

I have the freedom to live the life I choose and enjoy it.

And that's the most important thing M! Good for you!

While I don't think it's good to dwell on the negative aspects of one's life I do feel that it's good to take a look at them once in a while and reflect upon what they really mean and how they affect things.

This is very true!

I see this is was written last night,  so maybe the thoughts are long gone now...

I was just going to share that I have a relative that has what is referred to as "walls".  This person allows others to only get just so close.  Emotionally. 

It isn't a bad thing I think,  it just can lead to that "empty" feeling,  a longing for someone you can trust enough to truly share and be open with.

I think that kind of friendshipe isn't easily come by,  it takes time, growth, and experiences.  I imagine you feel that your profession prohibits that,  and perhaps to some extent it could.  However....if you meet the right person,  even with distance, and your job, you can have that friendship .

Best wishes Mason

I hear what you are saying Mason freedom to choose.

Introspection - I do a lot of that too - not that it helps me, hehehe.

I choose a life of a solitude. This is my choice - freedom to choose the life I want for myself.

I am friendly in a reserved manner toward those I encounter on a daily basis but that is as far as it goes now, I no longer seek out new friendships.

(Cornwall is not a friendly place! the people are insular and dislike outsiders unless you are a holiday maker putting money in their pockets!)

I have a few good, warm and wonderful friends I keep in touch with, but it is now by phone, letter or email and we may get together twice a year due to the distance we have to travel now that I live in another county.

I prefer my own company now, it is as simple as that. I ocassionally feel the loneliness, I just shrug it off.

I have A Few friends mason, BUT new ones I do not make, with me it's always been about trust, I been hurt to many times to let people get close enough to hurt me all over again.