A bunch of useless crap
Published on June 24, 2006 By MasonM In Misc
Once upon a time people held common courtesy in high regard. Gentlemen addressed each other as "sir" and women as "ma'am" or more commonly as "lady". Gentlemen held doors open for ladies as well as other gentlemen and a person who failed to abide by the commonly accepted rules of civilized society was considered a cad, undesireable, and an unwelcomed sort.

Somewhere between McDonald's and iPods courtesy died without anyone noticing. Today rudeness appears to be the norm and is not only socially acceptable but almost required. It's rare these days to see a gentleman tip his hat to a lady, (assuming he's even wearing a hat at all) or refrain from using vulgar language in a lady's presence. And it's even more rare to see a lady accept such graciousness in stride, choosing instead to either question the actions or engaging in vulgar activities herself.

What ever happened to genteel society? Is there something so wrong with people addressing each other in a civil manner? Is there a problem with using a bit of civility when speaking with another person?

Tonight while imbibing in a few adult beverages I was my customary self and acknowledged the barkeep's efforts when he brought me a fresh drink with a simple "Thank you, sir". After a while he actually asked me to not call him sir. When I asked him the reason for this absurd request he indicated that he wasn't comfortable being addressed in such a manner and preferred a simple "thank you" to "thank you, sir". Preposterous.

While I obliged him his request, I found it extremely odd that in this modern age people are actually uncomfortable with what at one time was considered not only common civility but the lack thereof was cause for a fight at the very least. What is this world coming to?

I refuse to give in to this trend and not only show common civility to others but expect, nay, demand it from others. Perhaps I am of an old fashioned mindset but I do not allow those with whom I am not intimate to address me on a first name basis as this is quite rude and assumes an intimacy which does not exist. I also do not accept rudeness as acceptable and will immediately address said rudeness with the perpetrator the instant it occurs. I never address a person by their first name, instead using "Mr", "Miss", "Mrs", or the modern "Ms", unless we have some sort of intimate relationship either in our personal or business lives as it should be.

I despise rudeness. It shows a complete lack of respect towards others and I can not abide it. Perhaps I am just a modern day dinosaur.

Comments (Page 1)
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on Jun 24, 2006
Perhaps I am just a modern day dinosaur.


Don't say that! I'm much too young to be a dinosaur, because I feel the exact same way as you . . . sir!

But seriously. At work, we have to use walkie-talkie esque radios all day, and every time someone calls me I always answer with a "Yes, sir" or a "Yes, m'am". Everyone thinks it's so funny, old-fashioned, and cute. Me, I was just raised to be that way by a wonderful mom.

Hope it doesn't die. My kids, at least, will still be courteous and chivalrous . . . or else!
on Jun 24, 2006
What ever happened to gentile society?


Are all the non-Jews dead? lol

Tonight while imbibing in a few adult beverages I was my customary self and acknowledged the barkeep's efforts when he brought me a fresh drink with a simple "Thank you, sir". After a while he actually asked me to not call him sir. When I asked him the reason for this absurd request he indicated that he wasn't comfortable being addressed in such a manner and preferred a simple "thank you" to "thank you, sir". Preposterous.


You were the customer. He was serving you. He should have called you sir.
on Jun 24, 2006
Was the bartender from Australia? We tend to view 'sir' and 'maam' as being class words - ie something someone of lower status uses to address someone of higher status. I cringe when someone calls me by anything other than my first name, even when it's a complete stranger. It's just rude to be so obnoxiously formal, like we're not even on the same social level and need a formal linguistic barrier to prevent bloodshed.

I see those old-fashioned words as horrible relics of the days when people hid their poison behind fancy words. I much prefer the honesty of today, where if you're going to insult someone you show them the decency of not sneering first.
on Jun 24, 2006
#1 by San Chonino
Sat, June 24, 2006 01:25 AM


I'm glad I'm not the only one.
on Jun 24, 2006
#2 by Içonoçlast
Sat, June 24, 2006 06:57 AM



[Içonoçlast]Are all the non-Jews dead? lol


You were the customer. He was serving you. He should have called you sir.


He did actually.
on Jun 24, 2006
#3 by cactoblasta
Sat, June 24, 2006 07:46 AM




Was the bartender from Australia? We tend to view 'sir' and 'maam' as being class words - ie something someone of lower status uses to address someone of higher status. I cringe when someone calls me by anything other than my first name, even when it's a complete stranger. It's just rude to be so obnoxiously formal, like we're not even on the same social level and need a formal linguistic barrier to prevent bloodshed.

I see those old-fashioned words as horrible relics of the days when people hid their poison behind fancy words. I much prefer the honesty of today, where if you're going to insult someone you show them the decency of not sneering first.


Here it is, or at least was, considered rude to not use terms of respect. No he wasn't Australian he was Hopi.

Here it has nothing to do with a class system or position, merely common respect.
on Jun 24, 2006
I have to agree mason, I try to be respectful till I am given good reason to be... rude..

I also adress people as sir or mam till asked to stop.
on Jun 24, 2006
#7 by Moderateman
Sat, June 24, 2006 10:53 AM



[Moderateman]
I have to agree mason, I try to be respectful till I am given good reason to be... rude..

I also adress people as sir or mam till asked to stop.


To borrow a phrase from our Austratlian friends, Good on you mate!
on Jun 24, 2006
#8 by little-whip
Sat, June 24, 2006 11:03 AM



[little-whip]
Ce que j'ai fait, ce soir-là, Ce qu'elle a dit ce soir-là
Realisant mon espoir,
Je me lance vers la gloire... Ok
We are vain and we are blind
I hate people when they're not polite
Psycho Killer,
Qu'est-ce que c'est?


I agree with the English part, although I wouldn't go so far as "hate", as for the French all I can say is huh?
on Jun 24, 2006

I was brought up to say "please and thank you",  "yes sir, yes mam"  offer my chair or seat to an elder, stand when an elder enters the room,  table manners, and more.

I've tried to teach my children these simple and easy ways of living,  a way of "being" in the world.  It sure makes life a lot sweeter,  versus the pushing and shoving and no regard for others that's so prevalent these days.

on Jun 24, 2006
I think rap has made it worse.
on Jun 24, 2006

This reminds me of an episode I had.  I was working with a tech support guy on a server problem.  I had him on speaker phone as we worked to resolve the issue.  Several times, he asked me questions, and I responded with a Yes sir.  Out of habit.

My boss over heard me and went balistic!  He called me into his office the next morning and demanded to know why I was addressing this 'lowly" tech guy as sir since I was the senior engineer!

I told him "because that was the way I was raised".

But then again, my boss is a POS. Sir.

on Jun 24, 2006
I too was brought up to address people respectfully, but I don't think I really got the hang of it until I began to learn Italian. They have two "formal" modes of address. If it is just a normal person that you don't know that well (it could even be a person that you see and talk to every day, but you don't share intimate detials of life with them) you always address them in the third personal singular fem. (i.e. she/her), if it is an older person (at times even if you know them well, but out of respect) you address them in the 2nd personal plural (i.e. you or y'all if you're from Texas). It has taken me a long time to get used to this!
on Jun 24, 2006
#11 by Trudygolightly
Sat, June 24, 2006 0:12 PM



[Trudygolightly]

I was brought up to say "please and thank you", "yes sir, yes mam" offer my chair or seat to an elder, stand when an elder enters the room, table manners, and more.

Me too.

I've tried to teach my children these simple and easy ways of living, a way of "being" in the world. It sure makes life a lot sweeter, versus the pushing and shoving and no regard for others that's so prevalent these days.

You mean you're not one of those lazy "modern" parents that leaves it up to the television and public school system to teach your children?
on Jun 24, 2006
#12 by Içonoçlast
Sat, June 24, 2006 1:58 PM



[Içonoçlast]
I think rap has made it worse.


Could be one of the contributing factors, or just another result.
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