This really isn't directed at any person here at JU. In fact, I posted it on another forum but felt maybe someone here MIGHT see his/herself in it. If not, that's ok too. It's my blog and I wanted to record it here. I was basically tired of a certain person on forum who is a one-track-mind drum beater..
I just don't understand the mentality of some people. They seem to have a one track mind and just can't seem to function in a normal way, even on a forum. You know the type. They have a single message they want to get across and use every possible opportunity to do so, even when a thread has very little to do with it. Or they simply take some perverse delight in annoying other people to make themselves feel important. There seems to be one on every forum.
They wil focus on a single word or phrase and totally ignore the primary message posted, and use it to voice their message. And they often do so in a way that denigrates others, insults and belittles the poster they are "responding" to, and in no way actually respond to what that person actually said.
Is it some kind of ego stroking tool? Is it a personality defect? Or is it simply that some people are just natural born asshats and can't help themselves? I honestly don't know. Perhaps it's possible that they sincerely feel they have something to say but just don't understand some of the basic concepts of effective communication.
Communication 101
Insulting one's audience is sure way to make certain your message never gets through. They don't seem to understand this one at all.
Ignoring someone else's message just to take the opportunity to try and voice your own is not communication, it's being an asshat.
Preaching to someone, or trying to "straighten them out" is not communication, it's being a self-righteous bore.
Asking someone a question, then ignoring their answer and justifying your own obnoxious behavior by stating that their opinions or views are invalid is not communication. It's being a complete egotist.
If a lot of people in your group keep telling you that you are doing something wrong, you are. Failing to listen is not effective communication, it's being an asshat. Saying "I can't help it" is a pathetic way of saying "fuck you, i'll do what I want whether you like it or not".
Teling someone who is doing the exact same thing that you are doing that they are doing it for the wrong reasons is neither effective communication nor is it productive. It simply demonstrates a serious lack of understanding of human beings and a pathological desire to be right no matter what. Only a fool fights a battle they have already won.
Telling a person their motives aren't good enough is an almost certain way to shut down any effective communications. You may as well piss your message out the nearest window as you will be perceived as not only an asshat but an egomaniac as well.
Refusing to acknowledge the points of the other party in a conversation effectively kills your message before it's sent. You've already lost and are only an annoyance at this point.
Different people have different background experiences, different life references, and different priorities than you do. If you want to communicate effectively with them you have to understand that and demonstrate empathy. Without empathy, all communication is ineffective and you come off looking like an asshat regardless of how well intentioned you are. It's like two radios tuned to different frequencies, they can never hear each other no matter how many times you try.
Basically, if you can't carry on a two way conversation, actually understanding and responding to what the other person is communicating, and then add your own input, you can never expect them to receive the message you wish to send, nor will you ever learn anything from what they are sending.
As for the people who simply like to annoy other people; they are just asshats with a serious inferiority complex who need to get a life of their own.
After many years of BBS, forums, and the various other forms of communication that have developed in cyberspace over the years I have been using computers (anyone remember when the "internet" was text-only?), I have decided to totally ignore these folks who seem to either lack communications skills, good manners, or are just being asshats to make up for some deficiency in their lives. They simply aren't worth my time or attention.