2005 is drawing to a close with only a scant few hours left of it's tenure. It will be remembered as one of the worst years of my life to date. And, in an odd way, one of the best.
It's been a year of pain and recovery. A year of being an invalid and fighting to overcome that condition. It's been a year of being out of work due to serious injuries, living in a home not my own with absolutely no privacy, and of being wholly dependent on others for pretty much everything. It's been a year of periods of deep, dark depression the depths of which are unfathomable.
It's also been a year of progress. A year of winning a difficult battle with physical disability. A year of setting and achieving real goals and of beating the odds. A year of regaining my most valued independence and some measure of the dignity that comes from earning one's living.
It's been a year of seeing the best in people. Generosity, caring, sharing, and compassion have all been bestowed upon me this past year, sometimes from some pretty surprising sources.
So what will 2006 be like I wonder? I am giving serious thought to trying to go back to truck driving around the end of January. This is partly because of the money as driving pays a great deal better than security work. But it's also in part because I want to know if I can do it now. The hip still gives me some trouble, well, ok, a lot of trouble at times, but it's vastly better than it was a few short months ago. I see it as much as a challenge to be met as a financial decision. But, it could also be a mistake. Nothing is guaranteed in this life. Sometimes we just have to take a shot in the dark and see what we hit.
I am really torn over the decision about going back to trucking, but at this point I am about 80% sure I will give it a try. I like my current job, if not the pay, and I do enjoy being home every night even if I am alone. But, to be honest, the job has some down sides that are starting to bug me. I get calls in the middle of the night because someone or other called off sick or failed to show for work even though we have field supervisors who are SUPPOSED to handle these things at night. That's really getting old, as I have been awakened by a call nearly every night this past week.
So what will 2006 bring?
Challenges met? Challenges failed? Probably some of both.
Love? Hmmm, I doubt that one, but who knows? I suck at relationships and they are often more trouble than they are worth anyway.
Fame and fortune? You can have the fame, give me the fortune.
An on-going mundane existence punctuated by brief flashes of exitement? Probably the most likely scenario.
Continued progress in the injury recovery? I sure hope so.
So many possibilities. So many different ways the year may unfold. The start of a brand new year is like a chance to start fresh in some ways. To consider our desires, goals, plans, and options. It's a buffet with an infinite number of meal combinations to choose from, all of which are always a surprise when they arrive.
Do you, dear reader, see any possibilities as you gaze down the temporal pathway of 2006? Or is it all just a big mystery to be explored as we go?