A bunch of useless crap
Published on June 30, 2005 By MasonM In Blogging
Last night I was feeling pretty down. I couldn't help but think about my current situation, and past ones. There was a time when I had held pretty important positions and made a decent living. I have always tried to do the "right things". I've never abused or manipulated people to my advantage, never taken unfair advantage of other people.

I have always stood on my own two feet, working for a living and trying to make good decisions about things. I have never asked anyone for a hand-out. Ever. I've done all of those things one is supposed to do, working hard, treating people fairly, and just trying to be a decent person.

Despite my best efforts, bad things just seem to happen to undo everything in my life. My current situation isn't the first time the rug has been pulled out from under me, it has been a long series of accidents, illnesses, and other negative events all of which were beyond my control.

When that person cries out to the night in desperation "It isn't fair!", I understand exactly how that person is feeling. Life isn't fair. But then, nobody ever said that it was. Life is harsh and cruel and completely unfair. Some people get lucky and live nice comfortable lives, have nice families, homes, and enjoy all of those things which makes life a joy. Some people, who go about their life in exactly the same way, are devastated by events outside of their control and are left with nothing but lonliness, misery, and a sense of desperation.

I suppose the stress and devastation of my current situation has lead to a sort of mild depression at the present time. As I have had past problems in this area I must struggle to ward off this sort of negativity before it takes root. But sometimes it just seems like "Why bother?"

What is the point of continuing to struggle? Why bother to fight the pain, the lonliness, the physical disabilities? What's the point really? It seems that no matter how hard I struggle to do the right things and stand on my own, the harder I get knocked back down. Sometimes it just doesn't seem worth the fight. It would be so easy to just surrender. Give up.

But there is some small part of me that just isn't smart enough to realize that it's an exercise in futility. It just won't recognize that winning isn't even an option any more. This is no longer living, it's just surviving. But that one stubborn, stupid little part of me refuses to acknowledge the fact that it's all pointless and a waste of time. That no matter how hard I struggle, I continue to sink deeper into the quagmire quiet desperation.

It seems that no matter how hard I am knocked down, no matter how desperate and pointless it all seems, it just isn't in me to completely surrender the fight. And I have no idea why. It really does all seem so pointless and hopeless. I'm just not smart enough to realize just how futile it really is I guess.

Comments
on Jun 30, 2005
Why bother? Because things are finally starting to get better Mason. You started a job... something I am sure you will not want to do until retirement, but something that will allow you to be self sufficient until you have all your strength back. From what I can see you are doing extremely well, have a positive attitude and a desire to get ahead... don't give that all up now. You are an inspiration to many others whether you realise it or not. Hang in there... things WILL get better.
on Jun 30, 2005

It seems that no matter how hard I am knocked down, no matter how desperate and pointless it all seems, it just isn't in me to completely surrender the fight. And I have no idea why. It really does all seem so pointless and hopeless. I'm just not smart enough to realize just how futile it really is I guess.

It is not smarts or lack there of.  It is the indomitable spirit of a winner.  Winning is not making a million bucks.  It is getting up each time you are knocked down and continuing the fight.  It is what separates the winners from the losers.  And you are just plain and simple, a winner.  You always will be.

on Jun 30, 2005
Mason you sell yourself short.
"I'm just not smart enough to realize just how futile it really is I guess"
You already know how futile things can be, and you acknowledged it. Give yourself at least some credit.
on Jun 30, 2005
Thanks guys. I'm feeling better about things today than I was last night when I was thinking about these things. Perhaps it's just a reaction to the stress of the past several months finally venting itself. I don't know, I'm not a shrink.

These are just some thoughts that ran through my mind last night I felt like getting outside of myself where it's easier to deal with them. Better than keeping them bottled up.

As far as giving up, like I said, it just isn't in me. I'm kinda like that stupid Energizer bunny, I just keep going regardless. Futility is a frame of mind I suppose. While I get down about my situation, I know all I can do is keep plugging along and see what happens next.
on Jun 30, 2005
These are just some thoughts that ran through my mind last night I felt like getting outside of myself where it's easier to deal with them. Better than keeping them bottled up.


And that's just the way to deal with it M. Sometimes you have to bring it all up, wet them and hang them out to dry. Because if you don't, you would be in worst shape than you are, and I'm not talking phsically.

To quote Shovel's comment on depression from one of his blog:

"To me, depression is like driving in a fog. The best thing to do is take your time and pay attention and be aware of what’s in front of you and what may be coming up behind you. Eventually, if you don’t fight it and let it be and keep going, you’ll drive out of it and be in the sunshine again."

Now how profound is that?! Can you see the visual effects of those words? They are truly enlightening. I have to give him props again for them!

It's hard sometimes and there are moments when I just want to scream at the top of my lungs and yell at the world to STOP! Because if you let all the craziness that goes on around you affect you, really affect you, you would dive so deep there would be no way of coming out. Believe me, that's what I feel sometimes so I know what I'm talking about! The thing is you see your faults, you know your situation and you're standing tall. You strive and you go on and one day it will all get better in the long run. I know this might sound like a load of crap or like wishful thinking of a goody too shoe trying to make you feel better (smile) but it's the truth! Take it from one who has lived a life that's seen ups and downs and twisted left, right and center. And still kicking! I'm glad you still manage to retain your sense of humor and your sense of self! My "hat" off to you!
on Jun 30, 2005
My girlfriend was walking once in the winter and saw a woman in a wheelchair struggling to get past a sidewalk that had not been shoveled. She went over to help her out and then decided to push her to the store she was going to. They got to talking and found out the woman had lost her family. Her daughter and son died in an accident and her husband died from cancer. It devastated her financially. And then she got a stroke that left her in a wheelchair and barely able to talk. The amazing thing was her outlook. She was still happy and grateful for the time she had with her family and that she was still alive. All her family was gone, she could no longer work, barely able to take care of herself physically and heavily in debt. But she still had a smile on her face and appreciated what she had and still has. She said that just the simple kindness of a stranger coming over to help reaffirmed her belief that there was good in this world and life was worth living.

Whenever I start to get depressed about a particular situation I am in, I just remember her and her courage. Looking on my life I have no right to complain about anything. And just hope I can deal with adversity with half her grace. She has changed my life in ways I cannot express and I am grateful to her for that.

So don’t give in because there really are some wonderful things out there and they are worth fighting for.
on Jun 30, 2005
Whenever I start to get depressed about a particular situation I am in, I just remember her and her courage. Looking on my life I have no right to complain about anything. And just hope I can deal with adversity with half her grace. She has changed my life in ways I cannot express and I am grateful to her for that.

So don’t give in because there really are some wonderful things out there and they are worth fighting for.


Amen Mick, Amen!
on Jun 30, 2005
Very good points, and yes there are people far worse off who face adversity with a smile. I try to, and succeed most days, but every once in a while...it just heads up for a short while and then it passes.

It's funny, almost everyone I know or have read describes depression as a fog, myself included. That's as accurate a description as any I could imagine. Fortunately, I learned from my implosion of a few years ago and now know that holding it all in the worst possible defense mechanism as it eventually leads to what I call an emotional implosion.

I got my first paycheck from the new job today, only two days pay as I started right at the end of a pay period, but it's the first time I've had money in my pocket for several months and it felt really good to cash that check. It isn't the money, as it's such a small amount, but more the fact that it's money I earned. It makes me feel a little more normal now, whatever normal really means. Less dependant, perhaps?
on Jun 30, 2005
It makes me feel a little more normal now, whatever normal really means. Less dependant, perhaps?


If that's normal for you, then yes, less dependent and a feeling of independence!


it's the first time I've had money in my pocket for several months and it felt really good to cash that check. It isn't the money, as it's such a small amount, but more the fact that it's money I earned


on Jun 30, 2005
~It seems that no matter how hard I am knocked down, no matter how desperate and pointless it all seems, it just isn't in me to completely surrender the fight.~

And I hope you don't. It is a nice step forward that you are working again...this may sound silly, but I hope you keep this ol' saying in mind:
"you have nowhere to go but up."

on Jun 30, 2005
you have nowhere to go but up

Well, without a shovel I suppose that's true.
on Jun 30, 2005
I'm glad you've decided to keep fighting
on Jul 01, 2005
I'm glad you've decided to keep fighting

Thanks, but there was really never any doubt. Just sorta venting, ya know? Besides, now I am anxiously awaiting getting my new toy, err I mean transportation, out of layaway so I can play with, I mean use it.