Just Venting My Frustrations Folks
This article is just me venting my frustrations. If you're looking for something interesting to read you may want to move on to something else. This ain't it.
I've been struggling to keep a positive attitude since my car wreck. Today it just isn't possible. The frustration of sitting around with nothing productive to do, the physical, legal, and financial consequences of my wreck weigh heavy on me today.
I took a walk with my constant companions cane and pain. I walked down to the end of the street and back. A total of about 2 blocks. That's the farthest I've walked so far using just the cane and should have made me happy. But it was pure will power and stubborness that got me back again. The pain was awful.
I hate the cane. Where I go, it goes. It reminds me that at least for a while yet I'm a cripple and seemingly not worth employing in some productive work. I hate the fact that I have no means of transportation other than a worn out old mountain bike with only half the gears working and which I can't even ride right now. Last time I tried to ride it I was unable to walk at all for nearly 3 days.
I have stubbornly refused to let this situation get me down. And until now I've done pretty good about it. But in large part perhaps it has just been denial of the real nature of situation. I have no place of my own. No privacy. I live in a recliner by day, a sofa bed by night, and in pain all the time. All in the living room.
Employment prospect look very gloomy. In all of my life I have never had trouble getting a job. Sometimes it may not have been a very good job, but I've always been able to find something until a better one came along. I feel like maybe I've used it all up. I've reached the end of the yellow brick road only to find it leads to an outhouse.
I don't expect anyone to have actually read all of this crap to this point, or to even give a shit. Just venting.