I am staying in a Motel 6 for the weekend. A few minutes ago I walked up to the lobby to fill my ice bucket so I could ice down my beer.

Now, I must paint a mental picture of myself this day. I was wearing plaid shorts (picture very white, hairy legs...sorry about that), a black tank top, sunglasses, and a wide brim straw hat. I also had a bent Viking Classic pipe hanging from my kisser.

Ok, get the picture? Not exactly well dressed. Beyond casual.

A Hispanic lady also staying here (I've noticed her once or twice while here) addressed me as I was walking back with my bucket of ice. I wanted to get back to my room quickly as it's very hot out and the ice was already starting to melt, but it would have been very rude of me to not stop and speak with her.

"You must be a very smart man" she said with a heavy Spanish accent. By her look and accent I would say she is likely from Guatemala.

"Why do you say that?" I asked her.

"Well, smart men smoke the pipes, no?"

"Oh," says I with a grin, "I suppose that's true, but I think some stupid men do too."

She laughed at that but insisted that I looked like a smart man. Considering my appearance I was a little unsure of where she was going with this. Yes, I do have a suspicious nature.

She explained that she needed some advice on something of personal legal matter and thought I looked like the sort of person who would give her good advice.

This made me very uncomfortable as I do not like to get involved with people's personal affairs, but I agreed to listen anyway as I watched my ice melt.

I won't go into the details of her dilemma, but suffice it to say that she had never heard of a restraining order.

After advising her on what seemed to me to be the best way to handle her problem, I excused myself and started back to my room. She called out after me to thank me and to say "See? Smart men smoke the pipes!"

I chuckled all the way back to my room.