After a great deal of careful consideration, weighing all the pros and cons of the career options available to me and factoring in my age, health, and various other factors, I have reached a decision regarding the next step in my career.
I have already made the decision to relocate to Florida, so that part was easy and fits right in with my decision.
I have decided that the best possible career option for me at this point in my life is the well respected and age old self-employed occupation of full time professional beach bum. I am amply qualified for the position and will do exceedingly well in this endeavour.
Now it only leaves me to find sponsorship. As anyone knows, all professional beach bums require a sponsor or sponsors in order to really get their career rolling strong.
Now, any potential sponsors should be advised that I already have the required uniform in that I have numerous pairs of shorts, sandles, and the requisite flowery hawaiian shirts. This should make sponsorship more attractive as I am obviosuly motivated and prepared. I will even pay my own relocation expenses as far as getting myself to Florida's beaches.
The sponsors will, of course, be responsible for providing a suitable place to live (my needs are small), ample suntan lotion, at least one decent meal a day in the local beach-side restaurants, and a generous supply of beer.
In exchange for this sponsorship, I will gladly wear your name or company logo prominantly displayed on my shirts, shorts, and/or beach towel for a minimum of eight hours a day, five days a week.
Any and all interested sponsors may sign up in the comments sections of this article with name, company name (if any), address, email address, and monthly sponsorship contribution pledge.
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