Pay it Forward

How giving could change the world

Published on April 29, 2004 By MasonM In Personal Relationships

I recently rewatched the movie "Pay it Forward". If you haven't had the chance to see this one, it's well worth the time.

Imagine just what kind of a world we would be living in if this idea actually took off. Can you just picture all of these people going around helping each other in a major way? Each asking only that the person helped go out and help three other people in return.

There would have to be a major change in the basic selfish "me first" mentality so prevalent in our world today for this to actually happen. So often today people are concerned only with their own needs and wants with little or no regard to the needs or wants of others. The "looking out for number 1" concept would have to step aside in deference to the "looking out for the other guy" mentality.
How many of us today would really decline to help a person if we were able to? I'm sure most would say that "yes, I would help someone if I could". But, how many of us really go out of our way to help someone? Or to actually go and seek out someone who was in need of the help we could give them? How many of us today can give something of ourselves unselfishly without anything at all to gain from it and expecting nothing at all in return?

How would the basic nature of society change over time with such a radical alteration in the basic relationships between people who may or may not even know each other? It's pretty easy to help out someone we know , but what about the people we don't know? How many people today regularly hold a conversation with a person they don't know? How many go through their day without ever meeting a new person , never mind actually having some really significant positive impact on the life of a total stranger?

Or, are we in just too big a hurry these days to take the time? Are our lives so full of demands that simple human interaction is impossible? If so, how could we possibly take the time to do something really important for our fellow man?

It was just a movie based on an impossible idea. But.......what if?

Comments

WiseFawn

on Apr 29, 2004

A wonderful article! Wouldn't it be great if we did it!!

dharmagrl

on Apr 29, 2004

I wish that more people were altruistic...unfortunately, as you said, we have created a self-absorbed, self-centered society who's main concern is 'what's in it for me?'

People also think that you have to be generous with time or money to 'pay it forward' and that's just not the case...often, a simple smile or a kind word can be all that's needed.

MasonM

on Apr 29, 2004

Very true dharma. A kind word and a smile can be a real blessing at times.

mittens

on Apr 29, 2004

It was such a great movie, so very, very sad though. I felt like crying endlessly at the end of the movie.

Good point though; I generally do my best to be more-than-generous to most people I come in contact with. I tend to help out complete strangers far more than most people I've ever known do. People usually just ask me "Why would you do such a thing?" My best response to that is "I like to think of the good in people."

Mr_Frog

on Apr 29, 2004

The "looking out for number 1" concept would have to step aside in deference to the "looking out for the other guy" mentality.

Boy, I truly wish I didn't have to live by that credo, but since a lot of people that are out there are trying to screw me over for their benefit, that's unfortunately the route I have to take. My family and I first, everyone else second.

Don't get me wrong, I like to help people out, but there's a point to where I have to look out for myself rather than others.

-- B

Gene Nash

on Apr 30, 2004

While I like the concept of "paying forward" as opposed to "paying back" (instead of doing good just to those that did us good, we do good for multiple others as an act of gratitude) I hated that dumb movie and its "Field of Dreams" rip-off ending-- cars lining up into the horizon? Give me a break. Good message, lousy movie.

Crazy llama 96

on Apr 30, 2004

Yes, great movie, and a great arcticle.

10-4

illusivedreamer

on May 01, 2004

I seem to have a few mixed feelings on this topic. See I guess it becomes a arguement within myself, self-preservation, or self-sacrifice. My eniter life my mother told me that people were going to take my kindeness for a weakness, I am too giving, and I need to learn the difference between helping and REALLY helping. I am 43 years old and I am still trying to learn to ease up and not always have to be the one that comes forward to be the "savior". I say this with the intent to help others like me, learn that it IS good to be there for others, but, there is also a limit. I have ALWAYS gone overboard...way overboard. Yes, I have taken people into to my home that I have never even met before, based on a friend telling me the situtaion and me piping in and telling them they can come and stay with me. The ending of their stay, has many times been one in which I am left drained and used up. They stole from me even after I not only sheltered them, fed them, gave them a little cash just so they had something and much more. Mind you, not everyone did this, but, in most instances, my family ended up suffering becouse of my inability to say enough, or no. I am by no means and never have been in a postition that I have the means to help others, but as I have always believed that if I have a slice of bread, I will gladly split it with another. The biggest problem with going too far, is you also have to learn not to be an enabler. I do this often. In giving shelter, food, cash if I can, and never saying "you have this amount of time", and so on, I am enabling them to stay comfortable and not try to help themselves to get back on their feet.
I still have an uncanny need to "help" others, even though I am in such dire straights, but, I am battling this need and staying with the smiling at others on the street and saying hello, and putting a few coins in someones hand that may be less fortunate than I. Still wishing deep inside that I cold make a difference in this otherwise self-centered world and hoping that one day it will spread.

Sherye Hanson

on May 01, 2004

Dear Illusive Dreamer,
It is possible to learn another way of helping people. My family and I take in people also. Right now we have two guys in recovery from drug addiction. A third may rejoin us if he gets out of jail. Read some of my earlier blogs.

illusivedreamer

on May 01, 2004

Thank you...I am going there now.

MasonM

on May 01, 2004

Big difference in helping or giving of yourself, and being a doormat.

illusivedreamer

on May 02, 2004

Big difference in helping or giving of yourself, and being a doormat.

Mason, you hit the nail on the head. It is always hard to face the truth about a certain flaw you carry. This is indeed a flaw in me since it has cost me much in my life.
Helping others ranging from giving advise, listening and smiling to giving food and shelter, still remain a beautiful way to live your life. Use this God given gift wisely though!

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