A bunch of useless crap
with yourself
Published on June 10, 2006 By MasonM In Blogging
I was always one of those "serious" people. I took life seriously, I was ambitious, always looking to move up, make more money, all of that crap. I was also a strong, rational person. I never showed real emotion to anyone, not even myself. I never "blew up", or showed disappointment, or got truly upset about anything. Yes, there were times when I got into fights with people, but even then I never really got angry. If anything I got even colder.

A couple of women I had dated in the past even commented on the fact that I was too cold, "not human". I didn't even allow those comments to hurt me. I was who I was, an intellectual.

It was all bullshit.

I was simply burying my real emotions under a deep facade of intellectual bullshit and a false front of strength. Of course I didn't actually know this at the time. I hadn't yet discovered the source of true strength or confidence that comes from being yourself and letting go of the bullshit.

One day I found that I just couldn't function anymore. I just shut down. I mean I literally couldn't function. I was unable to go to work, take care of myself, or even hold a conversation on a basic level. I was done.

Lucky for me, I was living with a woman who worked in the health care industry who recognized the symptoms; severe clinical depression. (She was actually one of those who had made a comment at some point that I never really seemed to show any human weakness at all). Basically, I imploded.

I went through a couple of weeks in the hospital, therapy, drugs, the whole deal, and then a couple of years of drug therapy to maintain. Finally I was at the point that I got myself off the drugs. I had discovered that life isn't about acquiring money or things, or about being "on top", but rather it was about enjoying your life, being good to other people and yourself, and that all of the rat race crap was for the rats.

I'm writing this because I realize that it's been almost 10 years since I "imploded". I'm far less wealthy than I used to be; flat broke in fact. I'm working as a truck driver instead of in the field for which I spent all that time in college, and I live alone.

But I'm happy. I consider myself a winner by my standards, not the materialistic standards of society. I laugh at least once every day. I am my own man, I do what I want, when I want. I do something nice for someone else every day. I don't hold back my feelings, I experience them and enjoy them. Even the negative ones. Oh yeah, did I mention that I laugh at least once every day?

Comments
on Jun 10, 2006

How good of you to open the door into your life and share a glimpse of you

Sorry for the implosion,  it's a dark tunnel when you're there.  Glad you found your way out and are happy!  and laugh every day

on Jun 10, 2006
Thanks Trudy. There was a time when I would never have admitted any weakness on my part let alone shared with it someone else. Simply admitting to yourself that your only human can be very liberating.

In a very weird sort of way, it was the best thing that ever happened to me.
on Jun 10, 2006
Hopefully you'll find many more laughs over the days ahead, and hopefully you'll continue that happiness well into the future as well.
on Jun 10, 2006
*you're* damned typos
on Jun 10, 2006
Thanks terp, there's always something to laugh at even if it's just yourself.
on Jun 10, 2006
Yeah, that tunnel can sure be a dark place. Been down that road a time or two myself.

As for being myself, I like it better when I'm the Me I know I should be. The Me I could let myself be isn't a very good person at all. I guess what I'm saying is, Yes, Be Yourself, but Be Your Better Self. The Self you can live the rest of your life. ;~D
on Jun 10, 2006
Be Yourself, but Be Your Better Self. The Self you can live the rest of your life.

Exactly.

I always called it a dark fog, not a tunnel, but it's the same idea.
on Jun 11, 2006

It's great Mason, that you found a place which makes you happy.

I too have been accused of not "feeling" because I rarely cry....and get impatient with people who do cry a lot.  Lack of empathy I think its called.ha.

Actually the clinical term is disassociation....and honestly I prefer it.  It allows me to operate in the world without becoming a screaming madwoman. heh.  It's not as severe now as it used to be, but its held me in good stead my entire life.

Driving a truck may not be Rocket Science but its a living and one that seems to give you peace.  Good on you for choosing peace!

on Jun 11, 2006
I've been there too. I've always likened it to sitting in a deep dark pit where you can only see sunlight as a pinprick, and some days you can't see it at all. It's a horrible place to be.

However, I too look at it as one of the best things that's ever happened to me. If it wasn't for that, I'd never be able to really appreciate the sunlight and 'normal' life. Any day that I wake up and don't feel like I'm sitting in that pit again is a good one, no matter what happens.
on Jun 11, 2006
#8 by little-whip
Sun, June 11, 2006 09:02 AM



[little-whip]
Carpe Diem!


What do ugly orange fish have to do with it?
on Jun 11, 2006
#9 by Tova7
Sun, June 11, 2006 09:06 AM



[Tova7]

It's great Mason, that you found a place which makes you happy.

I too have been accused of not "feeling" because I rarely cry....and get impatient with people who do cry a lot. Lack of empathy I think its called.ha.

Actually the clinical term is disassociation....and honestly I prefer it. It allows me to operate in the world without becoming a screaming madwoman. heh. It's not as severe now as it used to be, but its held me in good stead my entire life.

Driving a truck may not be Rocket Science but its a living and one that seems to give you peace. Good on you for choosing peace!


Sure disassociation is a defensive tool, but it can often lead to much worse problems as it did in my case. But I know what you mean.

Thanks, peace is really all any of us can hope for. And a sandwich.
on Jun 11, 2006
#10 by dharmagrl
Sun, June 11, 2006 09:22 AM



[dharmagrl]
I've been there too. I've always likened it to sitting in a deep dark pit where you can only see sunlight as a pinprick, and some days you can't see it at all. It's a horrible place to be.

However, I too look at it as one of the best things that's ever happened to me. If it wasn't for that, I'd never be able to really appreciate the sunlight and 'normal' life. Any day that I wake up and don't feel like I'm sitting in that pit again is a good one, no matter what happens.


I agree, it can really give you a new perspective on things.
on Jun 11, 2006

Some never come to that realization.  Others sooner than most.  And most eventually.  I came to it later than you, but thank god I did.

You are a wise man!