Wow, so sad. My heart goes out to all involved including your brother. I'm sure this shook them all.

We don't realize most days that we are just a breath away from stepping into eternity. This is a reminder and puts it all in perspective.

double post....sorry

That's true. I have long ago accepted that death is as much a part of life as birth, and am comfortable with that.

It's still sad when one so young dies, especially in such a preventable tragedy.

Mason,

While the death was preventable, I think your anger is misplaced. Many parents espouse the "attachment parenting" philosophy, where the baby shares a bed with a parent. It's not only not unusual, it has a longer cultural tradition than the setup many Americans prefer. It's a case where the mother shouldn't be judged too hastily.

I used to nurse my boys in bed all the time. Sometimes I would sleep with them and sometimes I would put them back in their crib. I would have been heartbroken if this ever happened to them. It is such a tragedy. My heart breaks for her and her baby.

While the death was preventable, I think your anger is misplaced

thank you for that Gid, like locamama said about nursing her babies and sometimes they'd all fall asleep together, I did that too and it could have been me in that situation..or any of us. Most accidents are preventable, true, yet that's what they are called accidents.

Sorry for the loss of your cousin and it is very sad about the baby and the mom, she's going to hurt all her life....over an accident.

I agree about the baby. My youngest didn't sleep on his own until he was old enough to be in a big boy bed. I nursed him in bed with me and never had any problems. I was very careful about where I placed him, and I never fell into so deep a sleep that I wasn't aware of him. It worked out very well for me.

It's very sad for that young mother. I can't imagine how traumatic that would be for her...and for her other child. And of course your brother. Very sad.

I'm sorry to hear about your cousin as well. Were you close to him?

I am sorry about your cousin.  But as for the baby, while I have no anger, just sadness, it is an affirmation for me.  My Ex use to do that all the time, but I would sit up until I could put the baby back in their crib.  I was so afraid of one of us rolling over on them, and never thought of them falling off the bed.  Still, the 2 o'clock feeding was both of ours many a night.

I know that a lot of people have had an infant sleep in the bed with them, but I (and many experts) have never felt that it's a good idea. I'm glad none here have suffered a loss due to this practice, but many infants have died as a result of this over the years. I'm not telling anyone what they should or shouldn't do, just expressing anger when I hear of an infant death from such a preventable accident.

Gid: I am fully aware of the history of this practice. Just because something has been done for many years doesn't make it smart. I'll place my anger where I see fit, thank you.

And thanks all who expressed condolences regarding my cousin. No, we weren't close. In fact, we haven't seen each other at all since childhood. But he was still family.

Sometimes I would sleep with them and sometimes I would put them back in their crib.

With all of my kids (my daughter especially 'cause she was difficult to get back to sleep in the middle of the night if not held), I would lay on the couch with them stretched out across my chest. They were, however, in a position to where they a) wouldn't roll, would be able to breath, and c) wake me when the so much as moved. In fact, I was so paranoid about something happening to them while doing that, I barely dozed the entire time. Any movement would wake me and cause me to check on them.

The bonding time was such that it's helped me maintain a close relationship with all of the kids. My daughter, bless her heart, will still climb up and lay across my side with her head on my shoulder when she's upset or in need of some cuddle time (which seems to be rather frequently - she's a bit of a huggy-feely litle girl). Not that I'm complaining. I rather enjoy the time with her. I relish it.

Having had a recent brush with losing her recently (accident in the pool on Labor Day weekend), I can understand somewhat the heartache the mother is going through.

I would lay on the couch with them stretched out across my chest

I did that many a night as well when they were sick.  But I did not sleep.