Sitting here tonight I realized that if I were to depart this mortal coil right now no-one would really miss me all that much. That's a sobering thought. There really isn't anyone with whom I am all that close these days who would pay more than a passing notice of the fact that I was no longer taking up space or using up air on this little planet.

There are a few who care about me, yes, but none at all with whom I am actually close and who would truly experience a vacuum in their life if I were suddenly gone. In essence, I just don't matter.

Wow. Isn't that a hell of a thought. 47 years on this planet and that's pretty much the crux of the biscuit, I just do not matter all that much to anyone.

Damn.

Well, in a way it's liberating too. I can check out and not worry about it hurting anyone. That's the flipside of that coin isn't it?

Dark thoughts on a dark eve. The moon has set for the night but the sun will surely rise again on the morrow. Life will continue it's painful trodding towards the inevitable.