Yes. Don't beat yourself up. You were and are still a good son. Losing a loved one, especially a parent is hard. I hope you can find some rest.

Mason, you are human. You loved your mother and she obviously loved you. Rejoice in her memory , for you truly are a good son.

Yes.  We all do.  Death is often a release for the deceased, but a time of recriminations for those left behind.  WHat we could have, should have, would have done.

I am not going to tell you not to do it, as it is normal, and you will (just as all of us will or have).  But know that from what Naomi says, you have nothing to regret in that respect.  YOu came home and rested - but you spent time with her as well - and that is what she remembered.  And loved.

(((Mason)))

I feel your pain Mason, this is normal. We don't always see things the same way after we lose a loved one. Somehow we can't help but blame ourselves, as if we could have done more, as if there were things we could have done better. Your mind is simply looking for a way to ignore the sadness by replacing it with anger. Sometimes anger can be an easier and more satisfying to deal with to some people, but can also be more painful in the long run. Maybe a nice pillow to scream into and punch might let some steam out and allow you to concentrate more could help. Just a suggestion.

One: you are not a peice of shit, and I would appreciate you stop bad mouthing my friend Mason!

Two: yes I was 56 when my Mother Passed and felt torn up by guilt, "could I have been a better son"? "could I have done this?" could I have done that"? So these feeling are normal far as I know.

Grief has stages, you know this, you are just going through them.

Be strong my friend and know there are some people you have NEVER seen who love you, I am one of them!

Thanks.

Thanks, I appreciate it.

I hope you two can work things out for his mother. Thanks.

Thanks, yeah I'm sure it's a normal part of the mourning process.

Thanks

Thanks, never been much for silly games like screaming into or punching innocent pillows.

Thanks. I appreciate it.

I lost my dad almost a decade ago already.  And while I still go through those periods where I wish I'd done more, mostly I just have fond memories and I just MISS him.

I think its different when you're a full-blown adult, though.  I was barely out of high school when my dad passed away.  I think I would feel very different if my mom were to pass away now.  I'd kick myself for living away for so many years, and not taking care of my mom as much as I should have, and I think I'd think about how much I took advantage of her.

When you think about it though, your parents bring you into the world to LIVE your life.  Your mom loved you.  It's not easy to remember that now, it takes time.  I know that's cliche, but its definitely true.  Take time to do feel these things now. 

Know that you continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

Thanks