OK, I've Not Been Totally Honest

Published on July 6, 2008 By MasonM In Blogging

I am seriously loath to post this but feel like I should.

I saw my doctor Thursday about the growth on the top of my head. It was an unofficial visit. He wasn't happy about it and took a biopsy and then had me go over to the hospital for an MRI, which he made sure stayed off the books until my health insurance kicks in. He's good about that sort of thing.

He called me earlier today about the results and I've been mulling them over all day.. He won't get the biopsy results until next week but he did get the MRI results back.

It seems that it does look like it's a basal cell carcinoma. Funny thing about that kind of skin cancer, it doesn't metastasize like other cancers but it does invade adjoining tissues.

It seems that this one has gone beyond my scalp and has moved through my skull and into my brain. At least according to the MRI. Not too deep yet though. He kinda bitched me out about letting it go so long without having it checked. I've known him for a few years and could tell he wasn't happy.

So I guess I have brain cancer. Sort of. I'm glad I don't use that part all that much LOL. The doc is going to consult with someone else next week and get back to me.

I'm not going to worry about it. It is what it is. Shit, ya have to die from something, right? He did say that they can cut it out. I don't know "they".

My doc isn't a surgeon so somebody I don't know would have to do it. Not a pleasant thought really. If nothing else I've always valued my brain and now it's under attack and not by the normal stupidity of that part of the masses who think they're so smart while spouting inane stupidity ( which is bad enough).I really don't know what to think at this point.

Once my insurance kicks in do I have the surgery done or not? Will I be the next Forest Gump if I do? More importantly, will I still be able to piss off the average Joe while knitting a sweater, drinking a beer, and pinching his girlfriend's ass all the time making him back down at the same time? If not it's not worth going on.

Now if I say something stupid I have a good excuse.

Comments (Page 1)

Locamama

on Jul 06, 2008

You're in my thoughts. Take care of you.

Dr Guy

on Jul 06, 2008

I hope they can take care of it easily. Best of luck with the surgeon.

MasonM

on Jul 06, 2008

Damn, Mason, that's hard news indeed.On the bright side, if the growth is on the top of your head (as opposed to on your forehead) the surgery may not affect the language, speech, and reasoning ability of your brain at all, so don't write yourself off just yet, bro.How's your mom taking the news?

Yeah the doc said it wasn't deep or anything, and this stuff doesn't spread all that quickly, so it's really pretty minor by comparison to some others. Worst case I'll lose some skull bone and have it replaced with plastic or metal or whatever they're using these days.

I haven't told my mother and don't intend to do so until absolutely necessary. She has enough on her plate.

MasonM

on Jul 06, 2008

You're in my thoughts. Take care of you.

Thanks.

MasonM

on Jul 06, 2008

I hope they can take care of it easily. Best of luck with the surgeon.

Thanks, I'm sure it's nothing too serious.

Sodaiho

on Jul 06, 2008

Dear Mason, My prayers are with you. Do what needs to be done and keep a positive attitude. The brain is a remarkable organ with a great capacity to adapt. Trust me, I know these things.

A bow to you.

Big Fat Daddy

on Jul 06, 2008

Thinkin about you

InBloom

on Jul 06, 2008

I hope that this is something that can be totally taken care of by your surgeon. Wishing you the best here, Mason. I am sure you will fight the good fight against this.

ParaTed2k

on Jul 06, 2008

I'm glad you are willing to shrug this off (as much as it can be shrugged) for now. Attitude and willingness to take it as it comes is far more important than we give it credit. I have no doubt there have been and will be private moments of fear and other negative emotions (that is also part of it all), but an eagerness to fight through adversity increases our chances of a positive outcome. Our systems work a lot like the computers we like so much (or love to hate)... both work on the principle of GIGO... Garbage in, Garbage Out. In other words, if we fill our lives with the garbage of fear of negative outcomes, negative outcome is about all we can accomplish. On the other hand, if we fill our lives with the fuel of positive attitude, that is one less bit of garbage our systems have to fight against.

Keep up the good fight young knitter!

In answer to what deficites you might incur from this procedure, that all depends on the part of the brain effected, and how deep the cancerous cells go.

MasonM

on Jul 06, 2008

The brain is a remarkable organ with a great capacity to adapt.

Yep, that's true enough.

MasonM

on Jul 06, 2008

Thinkin about you

Thanks

MasonM

on Jul 06, 2008

I hope that this is something that can be totally taken care of by your surgeon. Wishing you the best here, Mason. I am sure you will fight the good fight against this.

Thanks. I'm sure it'll be just fine.

MasonM

on Jul 06, 2008

Our systems work a lot like the computers we like so much (or love to hate)... both work on the principle of GIGO... Garbage in, Garbage Out. In other words, if we fill our lives with the garbage of fear of negative outcomes, negative outcome is about all we can accomplish. On the other hand, if we fill our lives with the fuel of positive attitude, that is one less bit of garbage our systems have to fight against.

Yeah I am of the same belief. Besides, I don't really think it's all that bad.

terpfan1980

on Jul 06, 2008

Wishing you all the best Mason. Skin cancer is no fun, but if you catch it early enough it normally can be completely handled with no ill effects.

I had a similar growth to the one you describe on my arm that I let sit for a while. I didn't realize what it was until it had been showing for about 6 months and just wouldn't go away. I finally got an appointment at a dermotologist (not an easy thing as most of them DON'T TAKE MANY NEW PATIENTS!!) and got it checked. He cut it off my arm and left me a small scar where a dime sized growth had been.

Since that time no other growths have shown, but I go back to the doc regularly and stay out of the sun as much as possible (my wife labels me a vampire )

Again, wishing you all the best. Hopefully it'll be easily treated and completely dealt with by your doc and/or whatever meds and treatment he applies (or whatever the docs he refers you to apply).

Like everyone else here has said, you're in my thoughts.

CharlesCS

on Jul 06, 2008

Ouch dude, when I saw the title I though you were confesing to something like not being a trucker or not knitting the stuff you say you knit or something like that. This was totally unexpected. I hope all goes well.

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