Do You Know Yourself?

Published on November 26, 2006 By MasonM In Misc

Ok, I'll tell you right up front that I am writing simply because I'm enjoying a few beers and there's nothing good on television. If you're looking for something insightful or meaningful, go ahead and move on now because this ain't it.

For the rest of you, here it is.

How well do you know yourself? Are you totally honest with yourself? Really?

Ever since I was a little kid I was told by my parents, teachers, and various other people who should know that I was quite bright and could do anything I wanted. I have scored well into the genius level on every IQ test that I have ever taken, which just convinced me that the tests were seriously flawed. I have never felt that I was especially smart, but I've never felt that I was especially stupid either. I always felt that I was just an average person. BUt then, I don't think too highly of the average person.

Now that more than half of my life is behind me I have been giving some thought to how honest I have or have not been with myself. Do I even really know myself at all? What about you? Do you really know yourself? Really?

I know the things that excite me, please me, interest me, and repulse me. But do I know why? Why do certain people get on my nerves while I like others? Why do some things make me feel happy while others fill me with dread? Why are they not the same things that make other people feel the same?

For example, most people hate public speaking but I always enjoyed it. But I have never bothered to ask myself why. If I really think about it, which I have, I have to admit that it's because I enjoy being the center of attention at the time even though I normally hate being the center of attention. How warped is that? Then I have to ask why I usually hate being the center of attention. And of course I also have to ask why I enjoy being the center of attention when doing a speech or other public speaking type function. It beats the shit out of me.

Why do I get paranoid when someone is following me? Why do I become enraged to the point of fighting when someone insults me? Why do I sometimes go out of my way to help someone I don't even know? Why do I despise raw tomatoes but love cooked ones or anything made with them? Why do I often avoid the company of other people? Why do I sometimes drink myself into a stupor for no reason at all and other times just have a quick beer and go to bed? Why do I sometimes hate myself and feel like a failure and other times feel like I am the most free person on the planet? Ok, that last one has a lot to do with the monthly bill cycle

I dislike my physical self with my beer gut, thinning hair, and other less than ideal physical attributes including numerous breakages and scars, but still maintain some sliver of dishonesty in my ego that tells me that I don't look THAT bad.

So what about it? Do you truly know and understand yourself? Are there things about yourself that, if you really give it some thought, you just can't really explain or understand? Just how well do you really, honestly know yourself?

Are we all strangers even unto ourselves?

Comments (Page 2)

Dr Guy

on Nov 28, 2006

Maybe I'm nitpicking,

No maybe about it, or of your hatred. Why dont you just leave it to your own blogs and not pollute others? What compels you to trash everyone's blog with your own prejudices and hatreds? What compels you to snipe at others on everyone elses blogs?

Lack of self esteem? See a shrink.

Bye again.

MasonM

on Nov 28, 2006

Ok, let's not go off on a tangent here folks. An off topic question was asked and an answer given, Let's just let it rest at that. Anything else on the subject should be addressed someplace else.

Thanks folks, I prefer to keep my blog and threads clear of outside arguments.

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