A bunch of useless crap
Published on September 30, 2006 By MasonM In Humor
Found this on the net.




Here are the man laws. Finally somebody wrote them down. They are all numbered 1 on purpose.


1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.


Comments
on Sep 30, 2006
hehehehehehehe!    *klonks Mason on the head*
on Sep 30, 2006
Ah..blessed truth.

~Zoo
on Sep 30, 2006
  

Jajajajajaja! What a set of rules. That needs to be one of the pages in the pre-nup . . .
on Sep 30, 2006
Decent stuff though there's never been a complete list and I don't expect we'll ever see one that covers everything.
on Sep 30, 2006
gah!!! Oooooh Mason I bet I can find one from the women to the men. What's good for the gander is also good for the goose.....hehehe.....*kicks Mason in the butt!*

on Sep 30, 2006
!  good ones every single one!
on Oct 01, 2006
great! Love it! sounds like you have had a bad marriage like myself or maybe you had too many sisters
on Oct 01, 2006
sounds like you have had a bad marriage like myself


Isn't "bad marriage" redundant?
on Oct 01, 2006

Great list.  But, will anyone of the intended audience read it?

Yea right!

on Oct 01, 2006
Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.


How true it is!
on Oct 01, 2006
yep! Married to that B.... for 11 years then got divorced. She abandoned me for her mother So guess I was smart.
on Oct 19, 2006
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