Hey Lady, Control Your Brats

Published on June 24, 2006 By MasonM In Blogging

Ok, I know I'm tired and my back, hip, and leg hurt like crazy so I'm a little (read a lot) less patient than normal. Ok, crabby.

I walked (hobbled) into the truckstop to get something to eat. As my cash is running low I decided to get something cheap from the chicken place inside. I stood in line, ordered my food, and was waiting for it to be ready when these two women came in with 6 kids ranging in age (guessing) from about 5 to maybe 9 or 10. And these kids were obviously very wound up.

They were jumping, yelling, hopping up on the counter, playing with the soda fountain, and basically running amok. I could tell that I wasn't the only person standing there that was getting annoyed by these heathens. The two women were making no real effort to control these brats at all. One of them, a boy who looked about 7 or 8, in the process of running amok stepped upon my sandaled toes (bad leg of course). This tore it for me.

I snagged him by the shoulder and told him in my deepest carries-for-miles voice that he just stepped on my toes and that maybe it would be a good idea if he went over there (pointing to a chair) and sat down before someone got hurt. At this point one of the women apologized to me while I glared at her and the two women hearded up the brats (looked like cat hearding for a moment) and made them all sit down. One of the other drivers standing there came me a subtle thumbs up after the little monsters were seated.

After a couple of moments one of the kids started to get up and I glared over at her. The kid I fussed at quickly grabbed her and made her sit back down. I couldn't hear what he said to her as he was whispering, but I can well imagine.

I don't really dislike kids, but I seriously dislike parents that allow their kids to go wild in a public place and disturb other people. It really makes me want to grab a belt and beat the parent's ass.

Neither woman looked me in the eye the rest of the time I was waiting for my food.

Comments (Page 2)

Dr Guy

on Jun 26, 2006

Now I feel better.

I know my kids can be loud and wild but that's how boys are. I'm not going to put them on ritalin so they can be little zombies and not bother anyone else. If I ever think my kids are the worst, all I have to do if volunteer to go on a field trip or watch Supernanny and I realize they don't even come close to being the worst behaved kids out there.

Maybe we should have a blog like our most embarrassing moments, except this time, when our children embarrassed us the most!

DJBandit

on Jun 26, 2006

So all of you perfect parents never had your kids embarass you in public? There was never one minute when they didn't listen, wouldn't behave or threw a fit and if they did you just went back home?

, nice one. But I think you missed the part where I do try my best to control them. It doesn't always work but it does sometimes. And believe me they do embarress me, I just don't make too much of a deal with it. I do my best to not irritate people but I am not perfect.

I guess I'm doing something wrong. My kids must be missing a their "little angel" buttons.

Nah, I'm sure they have it. It just probably has a malfuntion like mine do.

I didn't always have a babysitter or couldn't afford a babysitter just to go to the store or the laundrymat.

It's understandable, neither have I. hell I had a hard time just getting my mom, my sister or my motehr-in-law to watch them once in a blue moon just so I could go to the movies.

I can understand someone without children getting irate. I would think the parents would cut the other parents a little more slack since I would assume they have all been there at some point when their kids were little.

Hey, we all deserve a little bit of slack. I agree there are some people who are just a bit too easy to irritate. Not in this situation, but I have seen people get mad over kids just laughing. What would they rather have the kids do? Walk like soldiers? Live terrified of the world around them just so they don't make the slightest noise? It's too much. I always expect my kids to make even a little bit of noise, otherwise I would be worried. But to let them do what they want and not do anything about it is what drives me nuts about some parents.

DJBandit

on Jun 26, 2006

Reply By: Tova7

Now that you mentioned it I didn't actually noticed the grabbing part. I agree that one should not become phisical with other peoples kids. Tone of voice? Maybe, but no grabbing.

Moderateman

on Jun 26, 2006

Mason if my son stepped on your toe, I would make him apologize to you for it and depending on the circumstances he might get a swat or two.

That is MY job as his parent.

But once you put your hands on him, well then you are my problem and we'd be throwing down.

Reply By: Tova7Posted: Monday, June 26, 2006

yes it is if you are there and they are small children. Lord knows I do not wanna throw down with an irate momma.

Tova7

on Jun 26, 2006

Lord knows I do not wanna throw down with an irate momma.

HAHAHAHAHA.

I don't think my kids are perfect, but that's kinda the definition of being a kid....un-perfection. heh.

I don't agree it takes a village to raise a kid because eventually that means the village idiot gets a piece of them. And I have to live with the consequences.

I don't mind someone speaking to my kids, laughing with them, even asking them NOT to do something. But if someone I don't know puts their hands on them....something inside me just kinda goes berserk.

Locamama

on Jun 26, 2006

I've always thought that if they are messing with my stuff or my kids and the parents aren't stepping in then I have the right to say something. My husband didn't always agree with me.

Draginol

on Jun 26, 2006

So all of you perfect parents never had your kids embarass you in public? There was never one minute when they didn't listen, wouldn't behave or threw a fit and if they did you just went back home?

I guess I'm doing something wrong. My kids must be missing a their "little angel" buttons.

I didn't always have a babysitter or couldn't afford a babysitter just to go to the store or the laundrymat.

I can understand someone without children getting irate. I would think the parents would cut the other parents a little more slack since I would assume they have all been there at some point when their kids were little.

My kids behave in public. It's about discipline pure and simple. My kids wouldn't run around out of control in a store because we simply don't allow them to do that. You don't wait until they embarass you to discipline them, you nip it in the bud. Whenever my children have even started to act up, when they were little, in public I (or my wife) would take them home immediately. One or two times of that and they know that when we're in public, they are to behave.

My kids aren't perfect by any means. They throw tantrums and such but they don't do it in public.

Draginol

on Jun 26, 2006

As a parent, I would have little sympathy for you then Tova. If your kids are running around out of conntrol you gave up responsibility BEFORE they even ran into the person. I would have done the same thing as Mason and would be happy to explain proper parenting to any parent that had an issue of me putting the fear of god into their kid for being out of control in a public place. I don't owe any respect to anyone simply because they have managed to breed. If they can't control their kids and they have physically involved me, I don't feel restrained. I am not saying that you, Tova, are irresponsible. I have no idea. But the example in this blog and the countless out of control children I see in public wear my patience and I have little respect for parents who don't know how to control their own children when in a public place.

I have two kids and I know my youngest has taken a lot of work to make behave. So I don't tend to feel sorry for the weak parents who let their kids run around wild because they are too lazy to reign them in. I see it all the time. It's tough being the bad guy and I tend to have a bit of resentment to parents (particularly moms because they are by far more guilty of this) who just want to focus on making their kids happy in the short term even as it ruins them in the long term.

Zoomba

on Jun 26, 2006

If kids are running around like crazy and the parent does nothing to stop them, or even reprimand them, what are the rest of us to do? I ask this especially in the case of eating out at a restaurant... I've had many meals completely disrupted by rowdy children whose parents won't do anything. I've had movies ruined by misbehaving children.

I've never laid a hand on someone else's child, mostly because they've never been physically disruptive around me, but I have spoken harshly (never calling names or anything, just using a VERY stern tone) to kids before, and suddenly, as if out of nowhere the parent appears and comes unglued. Many take Tova's stance that no one can touch their child (which I honestly understand) and extend it to no one can even so much as tell their child to behave, as if I was suddenly stepping on their toes and infringing on their parental duties (which they were completely uninterested in just moments prior).

It's unfortunate that others have to resort to disciplining other's children, but if a kid is badly misbehaving while a parent is present and the parent does nothing to correct the issue, that parent has to some extent given up their rights to complain. I will not allow a parent who chooses to do nothing to stop their kids to ruin my outting. Having kids does not give someone the right to annoy everyone around them without consequence.

The parents here who have issue with strangers stepping in to stop a child from being a nuisance are probably parents who would at least be making SOME attempt to corral their kids. Those parents I don't mind, and will mind my own business accordingly, because they are at least trying. It's the ones who ignore it, sit idly by, that I will not stand.

Gideon MacLeish

on Jun 26, 2006

fully understand where you're coming from, I how ever still think that if your kids are too much to control then you either find some one to take care of them while your at the store, find something that can keep them busy (movies seem to work fine with my kids) or shop online. Not being cruel or rude, just think that even in todays age where parents are bad just for tapping their kids on the shoulder, that parents should still be able to find ways to control their kids or alternatives to shop. There's always drive-thrus.

We have a longstanding rule: the kids act up in a public place, they're out of there! One parent finishes things up, the other parent takes the offending kid.

We've had very few times when we've actually had to implement that rule: the mere threat of it keeps our kids in line.

While people who get bent out of shape about kids whining or fussing in such places (NOT temper tantrums, mind you, those are unacceptable) piss me off, as they obviously don't understand kids, there is NO excuse for a child taking ANY of that behaviour outside the booth. NONE.

Tova7

on Jun 26, 2006

As a parent, I would have little sympathy for you then Tova. If your kids are running around out of control you gave up responsibility BEFORE they even ran into the person.

Your definition of running around and out of control may not be the same as everyone else's. I'd submit someone with no kids has a much lower tolerance and braoder definition than someone who has three.

For example, I have two great girl friends with five kids each.

Five children, even well behaved, generate more noise, more movement, more accidents and more misbehavior (when it occurs) than my two. When I am with them it seems chaotic because I am used to only my two kids. But my girl friends don't find it chaotic at all.

I can't tell you how many times I am out with them eating and the kids are all talking...not yelling, just talking about this and that...and people give them dirty looks. Like children should be seen and not heard. That's ridiculous.

Children are just as much a part of society as you or me...when we go out into that society we should expect to run into them and ~gasp~ sometimes run smack into their problems, behaviors, attitudes, knowledge etc..

Now if I teach my kids not to interrupt adults when they talk, but you let your kids do it. Do I have the right to grab them by the shoulder and tell them in a harsh tone not to interrupt me or someone might get hurt?

I would have done the same thing as Mason and would be happy to explain proper parenting to any parent that had an issue of me putting the fear of god into their kid for being out of control in a public place

HAHAHAHA. Well first of all if anybody I don't know grabs my kid, they won't get a chance to talk to me about parenting because they will be fending me off physically. Look, you have a problem with my kid and I am there....you tell me. Don't put your hands on my child. Ever. I will be more than happy to accommodate you in most cases.

So I don't tend to feel sorry for the weak parents who let their kids run around wild because they are too lazy to reign them in

You are assuming everyone has the same parenting methods you do. Not everyone does.

Look, I am NOT defending the kids at the truck stop. I don't like my kids to act that way, so naturally I don't like other kids to do it either. But I am not so presumptuous as to believe I have the right to place my hands on someone else's child because they are not behaving in the way I think they should.

It's tough being the bad guy and I tend to have a bit of resentment to parents (particularly moms because they are by far more guilty of this) who just want to focus on making their kids happy in the short term even as it ruins them in the long term.

Maybe moms are more guilty because of the QUANTITY of time they spend with their kids. Just like the more you drive, the more opportunity for accidents.

Blame the parents, blame the kids, blame whoever you want. Just keep your hands to yourself.

Tova7

on Jun 26, 2006

What is "running around like crazy?"

Is it not sitting on the chair but standing next to it leaning over it?

Is it running up and down the isles?

If you really believe its out of line the SAY SOMETHING TO THE ADULT. I do it all the time....I say things like, "Hi. I was wondering if you could ask your son not to run up and down the isles. It is disturbing my meal."

IF they don't do anything, talk with the manager...I've done that too. They will ask them to control their kids or leave.

Many take Tova's stance that no one can touch their child (which I honestly understand) and extend it to no one can even so much as tell their child to behave, as if I was suddenly stepping on their toes and infringing on their parental duties (which they were completely uninterested in just moments prior).

HAHAHAHAHA. I know what you are talking about here...but that is not me. I will get mad if someone just goes off on my kid for something I allow them to do. For example, my oldest play soccer. We (my 3 year old and I)went to his soccer game and he got bored.

So I got the soccer ball out of the van and let him kick it around in an empty area by the field. A woman started saying something to him but I couldn't hear her...so I walked over and she was saying..."Don't play there! You are distracting the people who want to watch the game! Where are your parents?"

Meaning he was distracting HER because she chose to park (illegally) in the field and not in the parking lot and lift her hatch on the SUV and sit in it. This put my son playing with his ball close to her vehicle. She didn't like that and talked ugly to my son.

I told her to shut her face, then I PLAYED ball with him right in front of the bitch.

He wasn't hurting anyone, disturbing the game in anyway, or doing anything against the soccer field rules. Yet, I guarantee when she tells the story he was some misbehaving little brat.

Does she have the right to physically grab my child because she doesn't like what he is doing? HELL NO.

Having kids does not give someone the right to annoy everyone around them without consequence.

I agree for the most part...but then some people are just too easily annoyed. And I refuse to make my kids miserable because adults can't control their tempers.

It's the ones who ignore it, sit idly by, that I will not stand.

Again, I agree. Usually a word or two to the parents takes care of everything nicely.

Tova7

on Jun 26, 2006

We have a longstanding rule: the kids act up in a public place, they're out of there! One parent finishes things up, the other parent takes the offending kid.

Not everyone has that luxury Gid.

I am often alone in a new place and don't know anyone well enough to leave my kids with. I won't just leave my kids with anyone, I have to know them very very well.

When one of my kids are not feeling well and we are out of groceries...that's too bad...I have to drag them to the store. Yes, I know they will whine and I know my youngest may start yelling. I deal with it, but I am sure there are people who think...shesh, just take him home.

I guess to put a fine point on it...we can't judge everyone else by our parenting standards....well we can judge them but when we place our hands on their kids..we just crossed the line..big time.

I don't know that kid, that parent. I don't know what happened five minutes ago with them or five minutes after I leave.

That kid didn't know Mason's hip hurt...didn't know he was grouchy...no more than Mason knows if that kid has a hyperactive disorder, bad parents, or was just let out of the trunk of a car.

That's an awful lot of 'ifs' to make a reasonable decision to put my hands on someone else's kid.

Zoomba

on Jun 26, 2006

My personal tolerance level is actually very high. In movies, kids have to be actively distracing me by kicking my chair, throwing stuff, or talking so loud that I can not hear the film. In restarurants it's when I can not easily hear what the person across from me is saying because of yelling kids. If it's background noise, I'm fine with it... I know kids are fairly loud by their nature, and I let it slide knowing that they just don't know better. One area I draw the line at very quickly though are kids running around a crowded place and almost tripping me (not talking about when they're trying to catch up to mom/dad, but when they're just running around uncontrolled.)

In the case of Mason grabbing the kid, it was a bit different than your kid playing soccer not touching or getting in anyone's way. No one here is talking about grabbing your kid and shaking them because they're loud. There are degrees to every situation and response.

And as to talking to the parents who are ignoring their kids misdeeds... my experience is they come just as unglued, and the kids keep misbehaving. Typically when I've gotten stern with misbehaving kids, they at least calm down somewhat while the parent goes ape-shit.

Gideon MacLeish

on Jun 26, 2006

That kid didn't know Mason's hip hurt...didn't know he was grouchy...no more than Mason knows if that kid has a hyperactive disorder, bad parents, or was just let out of the trunk of a car

Doesn't matter. Children CAN be taught BASIC courteousy, and, while a little acting up can be normal, the activity he describes is NOT normal.

If the kid had a hyperactive disorder, the mother should have been aware of that in entering the store. She could have/should have worked with his behaviour in such places. I have worked with SEVERELY developmentally disabled adults whose activities would put those of these children to shame, and have been able to teach them behaviour appropriate for settings such as this.

I think you can tell more about a child's behaviour by how a parent responds to it. If it WAS simply a hyperactive disorder, the mother would probably have been somewhat embarassed and apologetic; even a milquetoast mother with aggressive children who TRIES to do something, no matter how little, gets points for the possible reasons you mention.

I still stand by my opinion that there is no excuse for completely uncontrolled behaviour by these children. If they've done it once, parents should be proactive in doing things to prevent it from happening the next time they go out. Role play, remind the child as your entering the store...heck, even if the parents offer bribes, they are at least doing SOMETHING to modify the behaviour. I am sure that your children are not the sort of children Mason's talking about.

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